But speaking it out loud would make it real. Would mean he couldn’t hide any longer.
No more pretending that it was just sex. That Ramsey just wanted to get off. If that was all it was, he’d have been hooking up the whole summer and through the fall. He wouldn’t havepressed the big red button blinking in the back of his mind, andmadeNate pay attention to him the only way he could.
Because what he’d intended was to tell everyone they knew that they weren’t just fucking, or even friends with benefits, butromantic.
Maybe Ramsey didn’t know how to do this. Maybe he’d be absolute shit at this—he’d certainly never done it before, never evenwantedto do it before—but Nate made him want totry.
“I want you to touch me.” Ramsey expected his voice to come out wavering and unsure. Hefeltunsure, like the concrete foundation he’d set his whole life upon was suddenly trembling. But instead, he sounded unbelievably certain. Desperate yes, unsureno.
Nate’s whole face melted, fond affection blooming across it. This was what Nate had been hiding the whole time, behind a front of annoyance and frustration. He’d wanted this too, and he hadn’t thought he could have it.
“God, baby, wanna touch you so bad,” Nate murmured, and didn’t waste any more time. He tugged Ramsey’s sweatpants and his briefs down, and a second later, Ramsey gasped out loud as Nate’s mouth licked up his length, sinking him into that tight white heat.
His whole adult life, and frankly probably before that, Ramsey prided himself on his self-control. His ability to keep his shit locked down, when the moment came, and to only lose it when hechoseto. But he already knew that wasn’t going to happen right now.
Right now he was going to lose himself, not just at how skillfully Nate was sucking him down, because hewas, but because it wasNate.
Ramsey groaned, pleasure spiking, hips rolling restlessly, because he couldn’t figure out how to keep his shit together.
Reaching out, Nate pinned Ramsey’s hip with a hand, hot and heavy.Strong. Ramsey made a questioning noise.
Nate lifted his head and his gaze met Ramsey’s. “Stay,” he said gruffly. “Just . . .take it, baby. Okay?”
Ramsey’s mouth dropped open a little. That was the last thing he’d expected Nate to say.
It was Nate’s turn to groan, deep in his throat. “Shit, I need you to be less . . .” He trailed off.
“Less?”
“Less hot. Less fascinating. Less infuriating.”
“I’m not—I’m letting you—” Ramsey didn’t understand. Wasn’t this what Natewanted? He’d assumed, sure, but Nate had seemed to very much be enjoying the situation until this point.
“Exactly,” Nate said.
It hit Ramsey like a blow to the chest.
Nate understood that this was not how Ramsey usually conducted his hookups.
He understood that this was an exception. ThatNate—as a concept, as a persona, as an experience—was an exception.
And Natecravedit.
“God,” Ramsey whined and fell back against the mattress. Undone, and that was before Nate even got his cock back in his mouth.
“So fucking gorgeous like this,” Nate murmured, between long sucks, pulses of heat vibrating through Ramsey’s limbs.
He still couldn’t feel his fingers or his toes, and he’d worried for a split second that meant something was wrong, but now, he was beginning to see that maybe that meant something was very right.
This,Nate, was very right.
He was on a hair trigger, barely able to hang on to the self-control he’d spent a lifetime curating, and then Nate tucked himdeeper into his mouth, tongue curling around the head, and Ramsey lost it.
If he was being honest, as he groaned out his orgasm, he hadn’t evenwantedto hang on to it. Not anymore.
Maybe he’d had more skillful orgasms, but he’d never had one that felt like that before, like he’d been emptied out. When Ramsey glanced down at Nate, that cavern at the center of him filled back up, all lightness and joy.
Nate was hot, sure, definitely one of the more attractive people that Ramsey had ever slept with but that wasn’t why he wanted to sleep with him.
