“Staring off into nothingness.” She shivered. “It is highly disturbing. Isn’t there a tonic you can take for that sort of ailment?”
I had taken many medicines from the most renowned surgeons in England those first few months of my recovery, but there was nothing that could satisfy my mind until I had better answers. “I am afraid not. Now where is that sister of mine? I ought to remind her to respect your nerves.”
This was the exact sort of phrase capable of distracting Mother, and I employed it often.
“And rightly so!” Mother’s hand went to her hip. “She is gallivanting about the garden, ruining yet another gown. I am surprised you did not see her when you rode up, but with all the dirt she accumulates on her hem, she likely blends right into the scenery.”
“And when I find her, is there something particular you want me to say?”
She sighed. “Tell her to wear blue to dinner. I cannot abide seeing her in bright colors in my current mood. It only encourages her wildness. If she cannot learn to be demure, I swear she will be thirty before she is allowed out in Society.”
I hid my smile. If Augusta did anything right, it was to take the attention from me. “I hope you exaggerate the time frame you have set for her.”
“And why not? It took you past five and twenty to settle down, and it will be at least that for her. Though, you still concern me. I wanted you to be more serious for years, but I fear you are too much so now. Do try to smile more and enjoy life again.”
How had we circled back to me? It was time to escape. “I shall try. Now if you will excuse me, I will find Augusta straightaway and tell her to come change and take tea with you.” My leg was tight from my travels, but my slight limp to the door did not bother me. It was a stark reminder of how close I had come to tasting death and that I had much to do to deserve the second chance I had been given.
Mother blotted her forehead with her handkerchief. “Tea . . . yes, that is what I need.”
I left her alone, wishing tea would put my mind to ease as well. My hand absently went to the ring in my pocket as I stepped past her. There would be no peace for me until I found its owner. I could never repay the gift of a life, but I hoped a sincere thank-you and monetary repayment would at least let her know of my profound gratitude. Until then, the debt I owed was a heavy burden I could not relinquish.
Chapter 8
Estelle
The carriage rattled beneath me, and I pulled my head back through the window before my hair was thoroughly ruined for my interview. We would arrive at Rosemont Court soon, and I was once again in desperate need of a position. And yet, I could not suppress my curiosity on another matter entirely.
“Nora, do you think our carriage driver resembles Mr. Long?”
Nora yawned, pulling herself awake from her nap. “I ‘adn’t noticed.”
“Hadn’t noticed? He is tall, blond, and seems wary of people.”
Nora scrunched her nose. “Ye’ve been looking for ‘im in every tall blonde man who comes near ye. It’s time ye put ‘im from yer mind.”
I pressed my fingers into my palm, remembering his firm grip. How could I forget him? Since I had traded London for Warwick, I had searched for Mr. Long in every tall man I saw. I had hoped against all odds that our paths might cross once more, that there would be some sign—some spark of recognition. Even now, I could not bring myself to give up. That hope had kept me from being consumed by homesickness and discouragement. Mr. Long’s unyielding persistence to survive had fueled my own. I could never have managed the Radleys’ mischievous twins otherwise. “Could you not take one glance out the window for me, Nora? Just to be certain?”
Nora made an exasperated noise, but she leaned forward to humor me. A moment later, she dragged her own head out of the window. “No, it’s not ‘im. ‘E’s too wide.”
Too wide? I stole another glance. “Yes, you’re probably right.” I had imagined him to be so many different men that I could not trust my memory of his appearance any longer. I closed the window, and without thinking, pulled out a certain gilded button from my reticule. I rubbed my thumb over it, as I often did when reminded of Mr. Long. Was he well? Where was he now? Had he found himself in more scrapes, or was he changing the world with his newfound health?
Perhaps Nora was right. I ought to put Mr. Long behind me. At least for today. I had the interview to prepare for.
Determined to focus, I stowed away the button in my reticule and forced my thoughts on Lady Camden. She was rumored to be fastidious, and I would have only one chance to impress her. Her family had enough money to be royalty, and to gain the position as governess was a challenge I wanted.
Animpossiblechallenge, many would say, but I had never liked the word.
At least it was a situation Reggie would approve of—if he ever forgave me for working—and I dearly hoped it would prove better than my previous position. To have even scheduled an interview had been a sign I should at least try.
I turned my gaze to the window again and started. That view! My fingers fumbled with the window in my rushed attempts to open it again. Once it was free, I leaned my head out and gawked at the sight before me.
Rosemont Court was like a poem! Four eloquent stanzas high and endless rows of windows in a rhythmic pattern of alliteration. The small lake bore a gleaming reflection of the grand edifice, and the miles ofwoods framing it behind was a visual metaphor of never-ending beauty. Its ivy-clad walls spoke to my heart better than any words ever could. It whispered of history and new beginnings in one breath.
A place so beautiful could never be a prison.
“Your ‘air, miss,” Nora said from her seat across from me. “And if anyone sees ye, they’ll think yer a hoyden.”
Nora’s chiding reminded me of Mother’s efforts to tame me as a child. The reminder of my imperfections tempered my enthusiasm. I pulled my head inside, smoothed my hair, and straightened the seam of my gloves. “Isn’t it a picture?” I asked Nora. “There’s so much promise for our future.”
