I took the last train home from Warwick Monday night and collapsed on my bed. I had cut my trip short when our promising lead, Miss Palmer, had disappeared without a trace. Now it was morning, and the disappointment from the day before hit hard. I had lost my stranger again. Miss Palmer was no longer employed by Mr. Radley. And worst of all, she had not left a forwarding address.
I forced my bleary eyes to open and rolled out of bed, ringing for my valet. I stretched my arms, the conversation with the Radley’s repeating in my mind, while I shuffled to my washstand. If only the Radleys had been able to tell us anything of Miss Palmer’s family or past—any detail that would provide answers in our investigation.
Mr. Radley had called Miss Palmer dependable. A notable quality, but not helpful in finding her. Mrs. Radley had said she was a pretty little thing who was good with children. No surprise on the latter; I already knew her to be the nurturing type. But I had wondered about her appearance a thousand times.
So, she was pretty.
An image of Estelle came to my mind, and a short, breathy laugh broke the silence of my bedchamber. I splashed my rueful smile with water and scrubbed the sleep off my face. Estelle was another matter entirely. For now, I had to make a new plan for finding Miss Palmer. Mr. Gregory would meet with the neighbors in case they had heard of her whereabouts, and I’d asked him to meet with similar affluent families with governesses in the area.
I tapped my fingers on the side of the washstand. We had missed Miss Palmer by one measly month. Lifting my eyes, I absently watched in the mirror as the water dripped in rivulets down my face. My thoughts, however, were back in Warwick, weighing the likelihood of finding someone after all this time. I absently reached for a hand towel. Even if we struck lucky again and found her trail, we still were not positive she had been the one to rescue me. We were only hoping. Everything was a gamble at this point, and I had a history of not folding until it was too late.
Was I wasting my time? I fingered the ruby ring at my chest. I had never been more anxious to return home and throw myself back into my life there. There was only one explanation for it. I knew it was becauseI wanted to see Estelle again. We had hardly spoken on Sunday, giving each other space, and I had departed before sunrise yesterday. Had she missed me as I had her? Had she thought about us?
My valet knocked and entered, forcing me to hold my thoughts until later. After I was dressed and shaved, I found my way to the breakfast room. Mother was there, pacing. I gave an inward groan. I had hoped to speak to her after my conversation with Estelle, and not before.
“Good morning, Mother.”
She whirled around and set her hand to her chest. “I did not see you come in.”
I took in her twisted skirt and the limp curls by her face—an unusual sight. “You seemed lost in your thoughts.”
“Am I ever. You did not come home a moment too soon. We must speak. Now.” I opened my mouth to object, but she had her hand on my arm and was dragging me from the room. I let her steer me to my office. As soon as the door was shut, she started speaking so fast, she could hardly catch a breath.
“It’s all my fault.” She lifted her hands to the ceiling. “I was so exhausted by the failed interviews and all the governesses fleeing from our house. I accepted her word without question. I trusted her—blindly! What a fool. An idiotic fool!”
I pulled out a chair and directed her to sit. “You are not making any sense. What is this about trust and governesses fleeing the house?”
“It’s about Miss Lewis!” She massaged her temples. “My headache is back. And it has improved much these last few weeks. No matter how sweet that girl is, and everything she has done for us, she must leave.”
Sitting on the edge of my desk, I folded my arms across my chest. “You have worked yourself into a dither. I thought we agreed that youwould not worry while I was gone. You cannot send Miss Lewis away. Everything will work out. You will see.”
“But she has no letters of reference. How can we trust her?”
I frowned. “But you were in communication with her. You probably misplaced it.”
“I thought so too. But I have kept all the correspondence in my writing desk in case I had to reach out to someone in a moment of desperation. It has happened before, you know.”
Oh, I believed it.
“But there was absolutely nothing from a Miss Lewis.”
I scratched his neck. “Did you ask her about it?”
“No, I did not. Normally, I would have dismissed her already, but now that you are entangled with her, I had to speak to you first.”
“Entangled? Mother, we have discussed this. There is no understanding with Miss Lewis . . . at present.” I had planned to court her first. These things took time.
Her head whipped up to meet mine. “Then you still intend to . . . to . . . follow through?”
I wanted to laugh, but her face was stricken as if I had announced I had a deadly disease. “Don’t ring any wedding bells,” I said. “I have business matters to see to this morning, but I will speak to her as soon as an opportunity arises. In the meantime, it is not hurting anything to have a companion without references for Augusta. Nothing untoward has come of it. Indeed, I would say it has been very much the opposite.”
“Yes, but we do not know anything about her.” Her eyes were red-rimmed, while fatigue and stress lined her face. Indeed, she looked old. And she had never looked old to me before.
“Let’s return to the breakfast room and have something to eat. Then I must insist that you return to your bed for some much-needed rest.”
She worried her lip. “Rest?”
“Yes. You are going to leave this matter to me. I’m Atlas, remember, and I will carry our world on my shoulders so you do not have to.” But even as I said the words, I knew that my promises to myself would force my mother to shoulder her portion in the near future. Would her health be strong enough for it? I had not worried about it before, but I did now.
