A deep breath exhaled out of me as I shrugged my shoulders. “Ahkeem, we talked about this multiple times. Right now is not a good time. Eventually, we will have the house and the baby, but right now, we have the penthouse and one big boy who refuses to be called a baby.” I chuckled at the thought of Saphir. “I don’t feel like going to look at that house by PJ and Brit will do us anygood. You’re just gonna have these expectations of what we need to be doing, even though I’ve expressed to you I’m not ready.”
He sat up with his back against our headboard. His eyes peered into mine as he remained deep in thought. Whenever he went silent, it meant he was piecing some shit together in that big-ass head of his. Realization seemed to have hit him as he tilted his head to the side, and he pulled on his goatee. “You ain’t never giving me a baby, is you?”
“The fuck are you talking about, Ahkeem?” I threw my head back in frustration.
“I been with you long enough to know you never been the type of woman to work on a fucking timeline. This five to ten year shit you kicking me is to hold me over. I would respect how you coming a lot more if you just keep it a stack with me. I’m a grown-ass man. I don’t need to be strung along like a fucking child.”
I scoffed while shaking my head at him. “I can’t do this with you this morning.”
“That deflecting shit don’t get you nowhere with me. You should know that.”
“Trying to strong arm me into popping a baby out my pussy won’t get you nowhere either, Ahkeem,” I snapped before storming to the bathroom and slamming the door behind me.
Only seconds later, he came busting through the bathroom door with his dick hanging. He didn’t even waste a second to slip his boxers back on. “The fuck you just say to me?!” His nose flared as he glared at me through the bathroom mirror.
“You heard what the fuck I said!”
“Jazzlyn, ain’t nobody strong arming you to do shit. Yo ass must’ve forgot that this always been our fucking plan. Or was you just giving me false hope so you could get what the fuck you wanted out this shit?”
Two strong-headed people like me and Ahk always ended up bumping heads. We fought like cats and dogs, but we loved even harder. Even with his chest puffed out, jaw clenched, and his nose flared, I could see the love in his eyes, and I was sure he could see the same in my eyes. We didn’t want to fight; we just had a difference in opinion, and neither of us was willing to bend to please the other.
“False hope? You act like I told you as soon as we get married, I’m just gonna dedicate my life to having your babies.”
“Why the fuck do you even see it like that? You my wife. You should want to grow a family with me and start a legacy.”
I leaned against the bathroom sink, hanging my head low. This shit was becoming too much, and the pressure was starting to close in on me. Ahkeem could tell that I tossed up my white flag in the heated conversation we were having. His hand gently gripped the nape of my neck, and he pulled me back to him.
“Lovey, I’m sorry.” His voice dropped an octave as he kissed my cheek.
He was always the first to apologize, even at times when I was clearly in the wrong. I took advantage of it at times, but today, it made me feel like shit. “I’m sorry too, Pa. I just… I want to be my best self when we have a baby. You want one now, and I can’t see myself giving you one now.”
He turned me around so I was facing him. His hands cupped the sides of my face as he kissed all over it just like he always would. “I don’t want you to feel pressured. In this marriage, both of us have to be happy, not one or the other. You need time? Bet.”
“I don’t want you thinking that I’m just shutting down the idea ‘cause I’m not.”
“I hear you, Lovey.” He craned down and kissed my lips.
We got into the shower together and washed up. My mind filled with devastating scenarios that could play out when Ifinally did tell Ahk the truth. I knew the longer I waited, the deeper the hole that I was digging for myself grew.
I got dressed to head out. Keeping it simple, I wore a yellow sun dress that complimented my honey golden skin and went down to my feet. I slipped on my brown Hermes slides, which paired perfectly with the matching brown Hermes Kelly bag Ahkeem gifted me a year ago for my birthday. As I misted myself with my perfume, Ahkeem came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“You know how much I love you wearing your hair up.” He kissed the back of my neck where his name,Ahkeem, was inked. It was my only tattoo, and Taylor dragged the fuck out of me for it when I got it two years ago, but I didn’t regret it. Ahkeem one upped me by getting a portrait of me on his forearm. He ain’t know it yet, but we were locked in way before we signed the fucking papers. He didn’t have a choice but to wife me up after I tatted his name.
I tried my best to contain my smile but failed. “There it go.”
“There what go?”
“That smile I fell in love with.” He kissed my cheek. “As long as you smiling, I know I’m doing my job.”
“I love you, Pa.”
“I love you too, Lovey.” He let me go, and I gave him a kiss so I could head out. He was sure to send a smack to my ass before I got too far. “Just give Ny’s grandmother whatever she want. We good for it.”
I okayed him before making my way down to the front of the building, where Cyro was waiting on me in front of the black truck he was going to drive me around in for the day. “Bali did you well, Cyro. You looking all tan and shit.”
After the much-needed break Priest gave him, Cyro retreated to Bali for a while. He came back home here and there but never stayed longer than a few months. I swore that nigga hada whole family ducked off in Bali somewhere and he just didn’t tell us. Britain’s ass probably knew. They had a friendship that they didn’t let anybody in on like they were guarding the Krabby Patty formula together or some shit. Cyro was proof that my sister-in-law could turn anybody soft. He didn’t play about her at all.
“‘Preciate it, Jazzy. Sorry I missed the wedding.” He held the door open so I could slide into the back seat.
