I shrug. “It’s not that big of a deal. I didn’t plan on going home for the holidays anyway. Now I have an actualreasonnot to go.”
Aaron shakes his head. “Take me with you. I need to talk to thisLeon. I need to feed him my fists or something. How fuckingstupidcan someone be?” Aaron reaches for his steering wheel, clenching his hands around it like he might beat whoever comes across him next if he didn’t. “Swear to God, Sofia, if I was him, I would have worshipped the ground you were walking on. Hell, I would have even gone to a flower shop to get you these awful wisteria-colored flowers you love so much, daily.”
I’m praying he said all this just to get a reaction, not because he truly feels that way. My heart wouldn’t be able to take it if he meant it.
I can’t let emotions show, not the ones he might want to see. What I can do, however, is react to the flower comment. I know exactly which ones he is talking about. “Lilacs?”
“Is that what they’re called?”
I nod, keeping a slight smile on my face.
Aaron always made fun of me for liking them, or even liking the color. Even though I’m still convinced it’s just a light purple, lilac, if you will, whereas heinsiststhe color is called “wisteria”. I can’t believe he still insists on it.
“Yeah, Nix. That’s what the flower is called.” I chuckle softly, then feel the sudden need to address his offer. “You don’t have to come to Germany with me. I’ll be fine. I’ll stay here and study.”
“No. We’re going to Germany together. It’s about time I reconnect with my in-laws.”
16
Aaron
“you’re losing control a bit, and it’s really distasteful”—Fuck You by Lily Allen
I should have left.Telling Sofia I was going to meet my mother was a lie. She wouldn’t have found out if I actually went to see her or not, and yet here I am.
My mother is blowing her cigarette smoke right into my face as she just stares at me, not saying a single word. I am seconds away from puking at her rudeness.
First of all, who blows their goddamn cigarette smoke out in someone’s face?
Second of all, what kind of mother just stares at the child they gave birth to for a whole five minutes without saying a single word? Especially after they’ve seen said child for the first time in sixteen years.
“Your sister alright?” she finally asks once her precious cigarette is finished.
“Not that you care,” I answer. Perhaps I should be a little nicer, given that she’s my mother and all. But then again, is she really?
Liz raised me. Well, my father did but Liz has been there all these years as well. She may only be my stepmother, and yet she’s been more of a mother to me than the woman giving birth to me has ever been.
“I do care, Aaron.” She puts off her cigarette in the ashtray, giving me a quick smile as her eyes land back on mine. “She is my daughter.”
“Question is: are you her mother?”
“Of course I am. I gave birth to the both of you. I am hers as much as I am yours.”
I shake my head, pressing my lips together as I refrain from saying things I would regret eventually.
I am here for closure, or so I keep telling myself. I haven’t spoken to this woman in sixteen years, and it never seemed as though she cared much about not knowing how her son was doing.
As much as I removed her from my life, a part of me still stayed with her. There’s always been this part of me that had hopes. Hopes that she might come back into my life, apologize for the things she’s done, apologize for her stubbornness, her pride. But the apology never came, never will come.
“Lily is dating your friend, isn’t she? I thought he was the gay one at first, but then it was only the brown-haired one,” Victoria says, almost making me choke on my own saliva.
Alright. So, she has been stalking me and my friend group, wow. That is… insane. Disgusting.
Besides. “None of my friends are gay.” At least not that I know of it. Grey isn’t labelled, he just dates whoever he feels like. And I believe it’s disrespectful to put a label on him when he himself doesn’t do it.
“Sure one is. I saw him with a guy. It was very strange seeing that.”
“Strange?” I think my eyes just popped out of my head.
