He lets go of the necklace, letting the Lego piece dangle between my boobs, his eyes following.
From what it looks like, Aaron is the calmest I’ve ever seen him. Yet the heat in his eyes says anything but.
“Did you ever think we had a chance?” he asks, meeting my eyes.
I shake my head. “We were kids.” Our gazes stay locked, though I wish they wouldn’t. “Whatever we had at that age, it was ephemeral, Aaron.”
His lips flatten, eyes closing like he doesn’t want to hear me say this. I’m not even sureIwant to hear myself say this.
“You weren’t supposed to be gone for so long, Sofia.”
He’s right. I’ve been told it’d only be four years. Four years and I’d be back in New City, back with my friends and family. But our plans changed after the incident.
Aaron lets go of my shirt but is quick to tilt my head into my neck while he looks down at me. “Why did you stay away?”
My eyebrows dip into a sad frown. Hearing the pain, the betrayal in his voice tugs on my heart with all the guilt in the world. It’s like stepping on a bug and then wondering if the family of said bug will miss it, but ten times as bad.
He turns me around in just a second, pressing my back into the mirror while his arms hold me hostage. I’m pretty sure I could get out of his cage if I wanted to, but I don’t.
“Why didn’t you reach out, Sofia? Why didn’t you tell me it’d take longer for you to come back?”
“I didn’t think you’d care.”
Aaron takes a deep breath, his eyes shut as his head turns to the side for a moment. “I did care. More than you could ever imagine.”
I want to reach my hands up, cup his face and apologize for my decisions, but I don’t regret staying in Germany. The only thing I truly regret is never havingtriedto find my favorite twins. I knew where they lived. I had their addresses. Even if I couldn’t find them online, I could’ve sent letters and explained everything. I know they would have understood.
But I didn’t.
His eyes are back on mine when he asks, “Can I kiss you?”
My breath gets stuck in my lungs, my brain officially playing tricks on me. Aaron Phoenix Marsh did not just ask me if he could kiss me. This is all just a bad dream, isn’t it?
It can’t be real. That would be one of the cruelest fucking things life is throwing my way.
Aaron and I can’t ever be together. We live in two whole different countries, different continents, an ocean apart. I will go back to Germany in a few months whereas he will start his career as a pro hockey player here.
I’m sure he has a spot on a team already or has at least gotten an offer. If his best friend’s father is coaching an NHL team, I’d assume it’s safe to say he has a good chance of going pro after graduation.
Life is all about having the right connections, is it not?
With him on the road for games and me stuck in Germany, there is no space for a relationship of any kind.
“Why?”
Aaron brings a hand to my face, stroking his thumb over my cheek. “Because I need to know.”
“Need to know what?”
“If it’s there.” Both of his hands now hold my face in them, his eyes burning holes into mine. “I need to know if it’sstillthere. The chance of an ‘us.’”
“Aaron…”
“Please.”
Whatever theory he wants to test with a kiss, he won’t get very far. I can give him answers to all of them, probably.
If he wants to know whether or not my insides would explode when his lips lay on mine, the answer is yes. I’ll even add that, no matter how shitty the kiss would be, it would be the best kiss of my life simply because this is Aaron kissing me. I didn’t hold on to the thought of him and I for nothing, and I wouldn’t let it go any time soon. I know I have to, but as of now, I am not strong enough to do so.
