Luan moves closer to me, so close that our shoulders brush. “What is happening?” he whispers, carefully sneaking his hand into mine.
“I honestly don’t know.”
I came here to tell my dad that I have a boyfriend, I did that. And I was ready to fight for my life, but as it seems, my mother is taking that battle for me.
My mother never raised her voice before, at least not that I know of it. She never stuck up to my father, always allowed him to treat her however he wanted.
“May I proceed then?” She waits a moment for my father to stop her. He doesn’t. “Alright then. Have you ever considered seeking out help, Ji-Hoon? Though, I don’t think anyone could ever help you. You think you’re oh so powerful, that you own the world, and yet the thought of people lovingwhoever they wantfrightens you. It’s such a small thing, don’t you think? When I married you, I never would’ve thoughtlovewould be your downfall. Thatlovewould be what would eventually end our marriage.”
End their—WHAT?
“Eun—” He stops talking when my mother cocks her head. I don’t see her face, but honestly, I’m glad I can’t because just standing here in this room, hearing her voice being as icy as ever, gives me goosebumps
“You pretend to be such a great and tough man, and I think you’re honestly good atpretending, at manipulating people into thinking you truly are. And since nobody would ever tell you this, allow me.” She lays her hands back down onto my father’s desk, leaning forward one more time. “You are a whiny littleboy, Ji-Hoon. You are a disgrace to humankind. Youdisgustme. For the life of me, I cannot understand how there are people out therelikingyou, because you have got to be the worst human I haveevermet. People like you are the reason why others feel like they will never be good enough, that something is wrong with them. People like you are the reason why otherskillthemselves because they cannot take the constant hatred anymore. I don’t know how you can be proud of yourself, how you can look in the mirror and be okay with what you see, how you can be okay with the person you are. I don’t know how you wake up every day and think you’re such a great guy. You’re not, nor will you ever be.”
My father opens his mouth as if to speak but once again, my mother goes first. “Last drawer.” She nods toward his desk. “Sign the papers. Now.”
The…papers? She tried divorcing him before?! Why am I only hearing of it now?
“Eun, think about—”
“I have,” she cuts him off. “I’ve asked you to sign them four years ago. I gave youmorethan enough time to sort your shit out. I am done waiting. And I am done letting you walk all over my children. I should’ve packed our bags and left you the moment youdiscussedsending Grey off to some stupid camp ages ago. I should’ve had enough strength to stick up for him back then. Unfortunately you made that impossible for me, and it broke my heart every time I looked at Grey, every day that sweet and innocent smile of his faded more and more. While you were too grossed out to look at him, I was crying for him. I didn’t have the opportunity, let alone the capacity to leave you and raise three children on my own. But I prayed with every single passing day that something would happen to you so all three of them were free of you.” She clears her throat and wipes away her tears like they’re not continuing to roll down cheeks anyway. “Sign the damn papers, Ji-Hoon.”
“I am not going to sign those papers.”
“You are. Otherwise I will get the police involved, and I’m not sure physically abusing your wife will look great in your records.”
Physically… WHAT?! I knew my father was mentally abusing all four of us, but I didn’t know he laid his hands on my mother even once.
“Nobody will believe you,” he spits out, leaning back in his chair with a smug smile on his ugly face like he believes he won this fight.
My mother smiles, but it’s not a soft or gentle smile, it’s devious. It’s the kind of smile I have never seen on my mother before, revengeful, dangerous. “No? You don’t think the pictures of my bruises, the security footage of you beating me, and the voice notes of your threats will be enough proof? Let alone Sun having witnessed most of it all?”
Sun has? Why the fuck didn’t she say anything? I could’ve helped. I would’ve gotten her out of here, made Mom move to New York with me.
“I could also throw out some statements, give an interview and tell them the truth about you. Plus, your beloved investor, Atlas Storm, remember him? He’s just waiting for the day I reach out to him so he can take you down.”
I fucking hope she does that even when he signs those papers.
The muscle in my father’s jaw twitches before he bends over and opens his drawer, takes out a bunch of papers then lays them out on his desk. He grabs a pen, signs page after page. The second he sets down the pen, I walk over to my father’s desk and take the papers from him.
I’m about to walk away, but there’sonemore thing that I cannot stop myself from doing.
Without even realizing it, I launch my fist right into his face. It stings in my hand, but I welcome the pain. Fuck, I think I wanted to punch my dad ever since he sent me off to that stupid church camp, and now I finally did it.
“If you so much as try and reach out to Mom again, find out what happens.” He may have tons of lawyers on his side, but as it seems, my mother has a much more powerful guy on hers, one who's apparently been waiting for the day he gets to take my father down.
Not looking back once, my father not trying to hold us back either, we leave the office, setting an end to a story that should’ve been stopped the moment the first letter was written.
There are a million more things I’d love to say to my father, a million things that wouldn’t even come close to the way he made me feel throughout my entire life. But even those million things wouldn’t change much. I could ask him why he can’t like me, can’t accept me, but all it would do is to drag me further down. I could call him so many names, drag his name through mud like he did mine, but I am better than that. I deserve to put this past me, live in the present rather than the potential future he wanted to create, or my past.
I can decide to hold a grudge, be angry at my father for the rest of my life, or I let it go, accept all of this, and live the rest of my life the wayIwant to.
Frankly, the latter seems a whole lot calmer, more peaceful.
Once the door to my father’s office is closed, I turn to my mother. I lay my hands on her shoulders, making her look at me. “Hebeatyou?”
She doesn’t confirm with her voice, but she doesn’t have to either. Mom lets out a shaky breath before a sob breaks free and she falls right into my arms. “I’m sorry.”
