“I can give you one piece of advice,” Mr. Li says as he makes his way back to the door, about to leave since I clearly don’t plan on exiting this room ever again. “Leave Grey and he will stay alive.”
Chapter 2
“call me when it’s over, ‘cause I’m dying inside”—Sober by Demi Lovato
January 2027
When I stepinsidemy mostly empty bedroom, the first thing I do is look around. My eyes fall to the boxes on my floor, my empty bed, the empty walls. I took everything down already because I was supposed to be fully moved in with my boyfriend a week ago. Ididmove in with him. Grey and I wanted to come back yesterday to pick up the rest of my stuff.
We never got to do it.
I carefully lay the brown paper bag onto my bed before I drop down beside it. A breath so deep and pain-filled that it makes me cry leaves me in one go. Even if I tried to force these tears to stay inside of me, I don’t think I would win.
It’s moments like these that make me wish I still didn’t know how to feel. Moments like these that make me want to go back in time, somewhere where I could drink away my feelings, drown them in liquor, or well, not feel them in the first place because I was numb tofeeling.
But I feel this.
I feel my heart breaking into more and more pieces with every single second I’m not inside of Grey’s hospital room. I feel it tearing apart at the seams with every moment that the reality of my decision sinks in, finding a cozy spot on one of the broken heart pieces.
It’s kicking me in my guts, to the point where I choke on my own tears, feeling as though I can’t breathe. There’s a rope tied around my neck, and it tightens with every breath I draw in, or so it feels.
I stare up at the ceiling, though I can’t see anything but a blurry mess. I can’t find a spot to focus on, a spot to stare at and calm myself down because there isnothing. Nothing for me to see, nothing for me to keep my head occupied with, nothing that could fix me.
Then I turn my head, my eyes find the head of a bottle that’s peeking out of the paper bag.
I don’t know why I bought it.
I’m so stupid.
So stupid.
So fucking stupid.
Reaching for the bag, I pull out the bottle then sit up. I stare at the logo, trying to find one sentence that would keep me from opening it.
There is none, but why would “think about what opening this bottle would do to you and your relationships” be written on a bottle of whiskey?
What relationships anyway?
My family will still be there even when I’m a drunk again because they love me. They’ll want to fix me again.
Doro won’t actually leave me behind either, I don’t think.
And Grey? He’ll be so much better without me. He’lllivewithout me.
But this isn’t going to be forever anyway, right? Because once I found a way to make this right…
I open the bottle, turn to look out of my window, then toast the Li mansion like it was another person drinking with me before I take a huge sip. Or three.
Or down the whole bottle.
Chapter 3
“swept in the thoughts of you and me”—10 by Elouiz
January 2027
I stare absently intothe distance while one of the doctors keeps talking about my stats, what happened that had me end up here, and what they did in surgery.
