Brooke got back up onto her feet, pushing all of her clothes into the suitcase to make it fit. “I waited for you for almost two hours in the pouring rain only because I didn’t want to lose hope. You’veneverstood me up, Reece. Not even once. Now I get home, and you’re half-dead on our sofa, drunk off your ass. The whole date wasyouridea, not mine! How could you do this to me? How could you do this to yourself?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. I wanted to fall to my kneesand beg her for forgiveness… but I was frozen in place. “God, Brooke, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.”
“Yeah, I got that.” She zipped up her suitcase and then looked at me once again. “I understand you’re grieving, and I understand that this has to be awful for you. I’m willing to be patient and wait this out, Reece, really, I am. I’m willing to be there for you and love you enough for the both of us for a while, but I can’t do this anymore when you’re not willing to meet me halfway. Even a quarter of the way would be fine. You’re not trying anything. You don’t even want to get better.”
Tears blurred my vision as it finally dawned on me that I was about to lose her for good. That zipped-up suitcase, her emptier closet, her tears, and her words… she was done. And it was all my fault. I couldn’t even blame her for leaving.
“I-I know.” I cleared my throat in an attempt to stop the stabbing pain in my heart from making itself noticeable through my voice. “Please, Brooke… I’ll do better. I’ll change. I will get help. Just…” My eyes fell on her suitcase, my nerves shaking at the way she wrapped her hand around the handle. “Please don’t go.”
She looked up at the ceiling, this time trying to blink her tears away.
“I need you, Brooke. I… I can’t do life without you.”
Her chest rose as she took a deep breath before she lowered her head and met my eyes again. “Mom and Eden are waiting in the car. I have to go.”
“They can go back without you.” I finally stepped into the bedroom, making my way over to her with long strides. As I stood right in front of her, I so badly wanted to touch her and hug her, but I couldn’t.
I knew one hug of hers was going to make me feel better, but there was a good chance that my hug would’ve just hurther even more. For the life of me, I couldn’t cause her more pain.
“Please don’t go…” I whispered, pleading. “Don’t leave me.”
Brooke laid her hands on my face, her icy fingers stroking underneath my eyes. “Luan will spend the night here,” she told me. “So you’re not alone.”
“I don’t wanthimhere. I needyou.”
She shook her head at me. “You need to get better, Reece. And you’re not going to get better with me around.”
“That’s not true.” I covered her hands with my own, pressing them harder against my skin. “You’re all I need.”
“No. No, I’ll just cover for you. I’ll keep finding ways to make me feel better about how miserable you are instead ofhelpingyou. I’d buy you more alcohol, I’d let you fuck me just so you’ll eat, and I’d try to get you to talk about it, but you will find a way to change the subject. I’d wait and wait for you to magically wake up one day and be the old you again. And that would only make everything worse. Me leaving and allowing you to find a good way other than sex and alcohol to cope is my way of helping you. And it’s the only way I know how to.” She smiled at me, or at least she tried to. “I tried being there, Reece. I tried listening, I tried talking to you, I tried letting you rot and usemewhenever you wanted… but that’s not going to work anymore.”
“I need you to get better, Reece,” she continued. “Because I love you, and the fact that you’re hurting is killing me. And because you’re throwing your entire life away right now. I couldn’t care less about skating and winning, but it’s yourdreamto play for the NHL. And if you don’t get back out there soon, you’ll never get the chance to try and get drafted. Not only will you hate me and everyone around you, you’ll hate yourself. So, please… please let us trythis.”
What she said made sense, even in my intoxicated mind, but that still didn’t mean I could live without her. “I can’t just not see you or talk to you for days, weeks, or even months. I would go insane. Even more than I am now.”
I wasn’t going to survive this.
Since I moved in with my brother and his wife, I’d seen Brooke every single day of my life. She took off from school to be on the road with me if I had a game, and I followed her wherever she had to go for skating competitions. We went on vacation together with each other’s family. The only times I didn’t sleep over at her place was because she stayed at Colin’s with me.
How could I possibly go from that to not even speaking to her anymore?
Brooke snuck her arms around my body, pressing her head right into my chest. I swung my arms around her as well, holding her tightly, not ever planning to let go. If I didn’t let go, she couldn’t leave.
“We’ll see each other tomorrow,” she said. “My parents and Grey will get rid of anything alcoholic, so you wouldn’t even be tempted to reach for it. Luan will watch over you like a hawk. And Colin and your mom will be there to talk if you want to.”
Okay… okay, I could maybe survive one night without her.
Wait. Brooke mentioned something about Elliot having gotten some kind of award for something. I knew she mentioned something like that, but I couldn’t remember what he’d done to get an award.
They were celebrating it, apparently, so it must’ve been huge.
Wait, Luan? “Why would Luan stay with me anyway?”
“Because he’s the only one who knows what it’s like togenuinely want to drown your feelings in alcohol. He’d be more helpful than Colin.”
Oh, right. I knew that.
“Didn’t my mom go back to Spain?” I asked, finally registering that part.
