When she looked up over Miles’s shoulder and her eyes laid on mine, my heart broke for the second time today. The first time it broke was this morning when I opened my eyes and realized that I wasn’t going to spend Brooke’s birthday with her in my arms. That I wasn’t going to hear her giggles or sneak in kisses when nobody was watching. That I couldn’t drag her away from her guests or bring her up to the top of their roof to watch the sunset.
And then now. Seeing her cry and panic broke every piece of me. And knowing that I couldn’t just touch her, pull her close to me, and hug her tightly until she was okay again, it was painful.
Years ago I had promised myself, and Brooke, that I’dnever be the reason for her tears. And I loathed myself more than ever knowing that I failed.
Colin taught me to be better than that.
When I realized Elliot was looking at me funny, I did what I knew I shouldn’t but would’ve done had Brooke still been mine. I asked Miles to step back for a moment, which he did, and then I sat down in front of Brooke. I enveloped her face with my hands, and her eyes closed as she leaned into my touch.
With every ounce of strength in me, I managed not to shed tears myself. And when I opened my arms, and Brooke fell right into my embrace and swung her arms around my neck like always, I was praying to every entity out there not to let me break.
It is better this way, I tried to tell myself. But it didn’t feelbetter this way.
Her body was shaking, sobs broke free like I’d never heard before. It pained me to know I was the reason for those tears, those pain-filled sobs. If I could’ve made it right, I would have, but I had no idea how to.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered into her ear. “I’m sorry. I love you, Brooke. So much. I’m so sorry.”
Seven years. We’d been dating for seven whole years, and suddenly it didn’t work anymore. Juilliard was messing with Brooke. Her figure skating partner got in the way.Hockeygot in the way. Our lives got in the way. But I shouldn’t have had to sacrifice her just to get closer to my dreams.
She shouldn’t have had to sacrifice me just to keep working with her figure skating partner. He always thought of me as a distraction, I knew that. Brooke knew that. Neither of us cared until that man constantly threatened Brooke to end their partnership.
She needed him though…
And she shouldn’t have had to break up with me just to show her stupid college that she wasn’t “too distracted” by me.
“Don’t…” Her arms closed tighter around my body. The strain in her voice told me exactly how much she hated me at this moment, how much she wanted me gone but couldn’t quite find the strength to let me go.
I looked up at Miles, just to figure out if he was mad at me. I told him about what happened yesterday because I knew Brooke would cave eventually and then feel bad because nobody told him immediately. So when my eyes met his, I expected fury, but instead, he just nodded his head toward Brooke’s bedroom door.
I shouldn’t have. Honestly, I knew I should’ve said no and left, but I couldn’t bring myself to run away from her. No matter how much Brooke would despise me, I’d always love her.
So, I stood and pulled Brooke up with me, then lifted her, and carried her back into her bedroom. Miles must’ve closed the door behind us because when I went to do it, the door was shut.
Brooke now sat on her bed, her face hidden behind her hands, shoulders shaking.
“Brooke,” I said and stepped toward her.
Before I got to continue, she already shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
I stepped closer. “We should.”
“No.” Her voice was muffled by her hands, but the thing was, Brooke didn’t even need to use her voice for me to understand everything she was trying to tell me. Ever. I’d always know.
“Princesa—”
“Don’t, Reece. I swear… just… please, don’t.” She finally looked up. Her eyes were red, her nose too, her face tear-stained. She was still breathing heavier than usual, but it was slowly regulating itself. “Can we just ignore everything today?”
“Why?”
“Because if we tell my dad we…” her voice broke again, but she tried her best to continue “broke… up—” she gasped for air “—therewillbe this huge fallout. The last thing I need is losing youandhalf of those who mean something to me.”
I couldn’t tell her that Miles already knew because it would just make her worry more, so I kept it to myself for now.
“You didn’t lose me, Brooke,” I said. “I’m righthere.” I pointed at myself, then closed the last couple of steps between us. When I took her hands in mine, I expected Brooke to fight my touch, but she didn’t. “We’ll figure this out, we always do.”
“We never broke up before, Reece. This is different.”
I sighed. “Then just… let’s not.”
