“Please let me. It’s been so long since I’ve had a little one running around. I have quite enjoyed myself today.” She picks up the rubber-covered spoon, and Ollie happily eats whatever she puts in front of him. He’s never been fed by anyone but me in his life, not even my parents. I feel inadequate, not for the first time. The thought that he’ll never know what it’s like to have this type of family dynamic hurts my heart. Lord knows I never had it.
“You might as well give in to her. If you don’t, she’ll pout,” Ronan says as he adds lettuce, tomato, and mayo to his sandwich.
“Ronan. That’s rude,” Mrs. Murphy says, but there isn’t any heat behind the words. “I don’t pout.” Mr. Murphy clears his throat, so she adds, “too much. Besides, I can’t think of anything Iwould rather be doing.” She goes back to feeding Ollie. I grab a sandwich and join Ronan and his father, who are already eating.
“I have to tell you, Colton, Ollie is a wonderful baby. He’s so sweet. You are doing a wonderful job raising your son, and all on your own. Ronan mentioned that his mother passed away. I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. Ollie never gives me any trouble.” The words stick in my throat as I force them out. I hate lying to them, but it can’t be helped. I can’t let any of them know that he’s my brother and not my son. I’ve basically kidnapped him and taken him across state lines. Even if it is what I had to do, it still makes me a felon.
“Do you mind me asking about his mother? I understand if you don’t want to talk about it.”
“She died in childbirth. I don’t really like to talk about it.” I lie again, hoping that the topic is dropped. Ronan is staring hard at me with his head cocked to one side. Could he tell that I’m lying? My mouth is dry, and I can feel sweat forming on my lower back. There’s no way for him to know the truth, but his eyes on me cause my pulse rate to pick up. I go back to my lunch, hoping that it will end the conversation.
“Did Ronan explain to you about the apartment that comes with your new position here?” she asks me.
“He did, and I’m truly grateful for it. We just got here, so I haven’t had time to find a place yet. I really lucked out finding not only a job but a place for Ollie and me. I still need to sort out a babysitter for the days I need to work in the office.”
“Nonsense. I’ll help you with that. Also, I’m setting up a nursery at your new place this afternoon.”
I choke on the bite of my sandwich. Ronan jumps into action and starts pounding on my back. When I finally get the offending bite dislodged, I shake my head.
“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure I can get what we need with my new salary. The contract said that it’s a furnished apartment, and we will be fine. I can’t expect you to do all of this,” I wave my hand at the ton of toys in the room, “and make him a nursery at home as well.”
I think about the dingy motel room we’ve been staying in and how all our stuff fits into two bags. I’ve always provided for Ollie and never relied on anyone for support. This sort of support always comes with strings. Will they try to take Ollie from me if they think I’m not capable of taking care of him? I can’t lose him after everything we have been through. The thoughts cause panic to rise in me. Today has been an unwelcome emotional roller coaster—anxiety, inadequacy, fear, longing. I’m drowning in them. I’m about to protest again, but am interrupted.
“She’s already done it,” Kieran, who hasn’t said anything to this point, adds. “You need to get used to it. Once she sets her mind to something, it gets done. I make sure of it.” I notice Alessia smiling sweetly at her husband. It’s a fondness that I’ve never seen outside of rom-com movies. It stirs something in me, not jealousy but a want. What would it be like to have someone do for me what Kieran does for her? What would it be like to have someone look at me like she’s looking at him? My eyes land on how she places her hand on his forearm. It’s a gentle touch, but with the look that passes between them, they might as well be shouting their love from the rooftop. This only adds to the mess swirling in my head.
“I told you earlier it’s easier to just give in to Mom,” Ronan reminds me. His voice is casual. He’s so used to not only what his Mom is doing for Ollie but also the love scene playing outbetween them. It makes my heart ache. I have to wonder if he appreciates the family he has.
“It’s too much. I don’t understand why you are all doing this. I do know that this is not normal for a new employee’s welcome to the company. I appreciate it, but it really isn’t necessary.” I really can’t understand why. It’s honestly making my head spin. I haven’t known kindness for a very long time. I have known beatings and harsh words. That is another reason I ran with Ollie. I didn’t want to see the brothers give him what they considered corrective training. Several times, I’ve been whipped and flogged in front of the congregation. Babies as young as two have been spanked for misbehaving during one of the three hour sermons. How did they expect a baby to sit still that long?
“You’ll understand soon enough.” She wipes Ollie down with a wet wipe and picks him up. His eyes are already drooping as he places his head on her shoulder. She takes him to a glider by the crib and sits with him. She gently rocks him and softly hums a lullaby. Alessia Murphy gives me a breathtaking smile as she rubs Ollie’s back. She really is a beautiful woman.
We finish eating and go back to Ronan’s office. Kieran enters the office a little while later.
“Is everything okay with Ollie?” I ask.
“He’s fine. He was still asleep when I checked on him and Alessia a few minutes ago.”
“I can’t thank you all for what you have done for Ollie and me.”
“It’s no problem. It makes Alessia happy.” Kieran directs his next question to Ronan. “Is everything working out the way you planned?”
“Yes,” Ronan replies. Are they talking about me? I’m in the Twilight Zone, and no one told me which episode it is. A knock on the doorframe draws our attention.
“Hey, you must be Colton. I’m Xavier, and this is Declan. He’s the cousin,” a shorter, very cute guy says, throwing his thumb at a very large, intimidating man. What is with this family? Did their parents force-feed them steroids? “We wanted…” he starts, but is cut off by Declan.
“You wanted,” he interrupts.
“Okay, so I wanted to meet you and welcome you to Murphy Enterprises. I’m sure Ronan will give you all of our phone numbers, so just give me a call if you have any questions. About anything.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate that. Ollie and I just moved here, and I don’t know anyone locally.”
“Who’s Ollie?” Xavier asks.
“It’s his one-year-old son,” Kieran answers before I can say anything. “Alessia has him in the conference room.”
“Oh my God, you have a baby? Can I meet him?” Xavier is all but bouncing on his toes. I like him immediately. I nod, and he hurries from the office.
