“Don’t what?” I try to sound innocent, like my world is not crashing down around me all over again.
“Don’t think about running. It’s not going to happen.”
He says it so calmly. What is his deal with all of this?
“Are you going to stop me?” I ask.
“I’d rather you stay by choice.” He stands and takes our plates back to the kitchen.
“And if my choice is to leave?”
“You’re both safe here, so why would that be your choice?”
This conversation is going nowhere, and it makes no difference. I need to get Ollie somewhere else, somewhere no one knows us. I definitely wouldn’t be taking a job where they’re smart enough to dig too deep. I have to protect Ollie at all costs. Staying with contract work is the safest. I should have just stuck with that plan. But I was taken in by the prospect of the money I needed to disappear again. I was also taken in by Ronan and his family. No matter how crazy it seems, it’s nice that they showed interest in Ollie.
I grab wipes from the diaper bag and start cleaning Ollie up. I need to take just what I can carry and somehow get to my car. I’ll have to leave most of the stuff behind. I go through our belongings in my head like a laundry list of what I can take and what I will have to leave. The whole thing feels like déjà vu when Ronan comes back.
“You need help with anything?” he asks.
“No, thanks. I’m going to get him into a bath and then put him to bed,” I tell him. The bedroom he is allowing us to use has an en-suite.
“I’ll wait for you in the living room. We can talk.”
“I’m really tired.” I make my excuse. “I’m going to lie down with him and will probably be out cold as soon as I do. I’ll see you in the morning.” Not waiting for his reply, I grab my messenger bag and diaper bag and head to the bedroom.
I play with Ollie in the bath longer than I normally would, but I need him tired. I read him several little stories until he finallyfalls asleep. As quietly as I can, I grab what I can fit into a backpack and a single duffel and pack. I wish I could take more, but between Ollie and the bags, it’s all I can manage. Now I have to wait for Ronan to go to bed. Hopefully, he’ll go soon. I should’ve asked him when he normally goes to bed. If the whole “we eat at 6:30” is any indicator, he keeps to a schedule.
I set an alarm for two AM. I make sure that the phone’s volume is down and the vibrate is on. Now I need to get a few of hours of sleep myself. My mind buzzes with everything that has happened in the last couple of days. Everything from his Mom and Dad taking care of Ollie to Ronan himself. I can’t deny the pull that I feel toward him, but I also can’t give in to it. He doesn’t know the kind of trouble I’m in and what that would mean for him and his family if I stay.
The alarm seems to go off as soon as I fall asleep. I’ve gotten four hours, but I’m still so tired. Taking out the burner phone that I keep for emergencies, I call for a rideshare. Ten-minute wait. I grab the bags first to position them on my back and shoulders so I can carry Ollie. I peek out into the hallway. It’s dark, but I can see well enough from the ambient light coming from the living room. I wrap Ollie in his blanket and quietly make my way to the end of the hall. No lights are on, but the city lights streaming through the wall of glass are enough to reach the front door. The silence is eerie. I’m so close.
“So this is your choice?” Ronan’s voice comes out of nowhere. I yelp and have to hold tighter to Ollie, so I don’t drop him. I should have looked up the stairs. He’s not yelling or loud, just calm. His face is blank except for his eyes.
“It’s the right choice.”
“Why?” He asks as he descends the stairs. Each step closer pounds through my chest.
“I have to protect Ollie.” Why can’t he understand this?
“And you think you need to do that on your own? What about you? Who protects you?” He steps into my personal space.
“I protect us both. I always have.” Even under the weight of the bags and Ollie, I stand tall.
“There’s no need for you to be alone in this. I can protect you. My family and I can help you.”
I shake my head. “I have to go. I’ve got to keep him hidden. If you figured out who I am, then others will too. I can’t take that risk, not with Ollie.”
“And you think staying here will be a risk?”
“There are things you don’t know, Ronan.” I can’t explain things to him. I think he is going to stop me, but he pulls out his phone instead.
“Taylor will meet you downstairs. I’ll have a room booked for you for as long as you need it. Your car will be delivered to you there. I’ll have your things.” He takes a breath, “Your things will be brought to you as well.” He runs his hand down Ollie’s back. A surprising gesture. He walks to the door and opens it for me. I walk through it. I don’t look back as I wait for the elevator. I can’t. I ride the elevator down, wondering if I’m doing the right thing. Doubt about leaving creeps into my thoughts. Ronan’s blank expression as he holds the door for me twists my gut. For some reason, his letting me go hurts worse than if he had tried to stop me.
A large, very intimidating man is waiting for me when the doors open.
“Mr. Harris, I’m Taylor. Let me help you with your bags.” He takes the duffel and diaper bag from me. He leads me to a dark SUV parked in front of the building. I take a last look over myshoulder. I don’t know what I was expecting when I did. But for some reason, I feel disappointed that Ronan is not behind me.
I buckle Ollie into his car seat and climb in after him. I can see Taylor glancing at me in the rear-view mirror.
