Thrust
“I will kill anyone who touches you.”
Thrust
“I will burn this world down to keep you.”
There’s a hot, slick wetness between us, and Colton’s eyes roll back. His channel clamps down on my cock almost painfully. The base of my spine tingles, and my balls draw up. I swear I see God as I fill him full. I drop my head to his shoulder to catch my breath. It takes me several minutes to get it under control. I’ve never cum that hard.
Colton’s eyes are closed, and his breathing is uneven. Softening, I slowly pull from his body. He groans and then gasps.
“Did I hurt you?” I ask, lifting my weight off him.
He shakes his head but doesn’t look at me. His face no longer holds that look of ecstasy but is tight from how hard he’s squeezing his eyes shut.
“I’ll go get a washcloth to clean you up.” I start to get off the bed.
“No!” He grips my arm to stop me. Sliding to the edge of the bed, he stands on shaky legs.
“Let me help you.” I stand as well.
“That’s okay. I just, umm, I just need a minute.” He takes small steps toward the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. Effectively shutting me out. I hurt him. I lost control and hurt him.
I stand and wait, staring at the door, willing it to open. The urge to go to him to care for him is overwhelming me. Just as my patience gives out, he comes back into the bedroom. He has a calmer look on his face, sleepy almost, but his steps are measured. He winces as he crawls into bed and pulls the covers over himself.
I go into the bathroom and clean myself up. The vow I made to kill anyone who hurt him comes back to me. How can I say that no one will ever hurt him when I did it myself? Research that I did pointed out the need to be gentle over and over again. But I lost control. That’s something I will never do with Colton again.
I plan to tell him as much as I can when I step into the bedroom. A soft snore and heavy breathing let me know I won’t be talking to him tonight. I study his face when I settle in beside him. In sleep, his features are relaxed, and he looks peaceful. His dimple is faint, but I can still see it. I want to touch it, glide my finger against the indentation of his cheek. My fingers hover close to his face, but I stop. Will he want my touch after what I’ve done? I settle back on my pillow and wait for sleep to pull me under.
I wake before Colton does. Even though I caused him pain last night, he is curled against me. The heat of his skin makes me want to wrap him in my arms. I’m not sure of what his reaction will be, so I don’t. I slowly get out of bed without waking him. If I see fear in his eyes, I’m not sure what I’ll do.
While the coffee starts brewing, I make breakfast for us. I start going over the information that we currently have about the cult—making lists in my head and on my phone of the clear steps I need to take. I will remove the threat against him. He will be free, and Ollie can grow up like Colton wants him to. Colton will be free of those who have wronged and hurt him. I hurt him. Will he want to be free from me when this is all over?
Colton comes into the kitchen just as I’m setting a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast down for him.
“Good morning,” he says, “Thanks for breakfast.” His eyes stay on his plate, and he only glances up at me briefly before looking back down.
“You’re welcome. Eat up, we have a busy day ahead of us.” I want to touch him. To tell him that I won’t hurt him again, that my loss of control won’t happen again. But he doesn’t make eye contact with me. So I leave the kitchen to get dressed for the day.
I’m waiting at the door when Colton comes out of the bedroom. He finally looks at me, but he has a frown on his face. I keep my distance, hovering close but never touching him. In the car, I turn on the radio, something I rarely do. I’m not one for background noise, but I don’t want Colton to feel like he has to talk to me if he doesn’t want to.
As soon as we enter my office and Colton sets down his bag, he takes out his phone.
“Your mom,” he gestures to his phone, “they’re here already. I’m going to go check on Ollie before we get started.” He doesn’t wait for a response from me, just walks back out.
I don’t like the distance, but it’s my own doing, and I have to live with that. Remove the threat, give Colton his life back; those are my priorities now. So I call Finn to get started on the tasks.
Chapter 22
Colton
Last night was the best night of my life. Ronan made me feel things I never knew were possible. But this morning, he’s distant. Has everything he’s said and done just been for show? Was he disappointed? Was I not good enough? That doesn’t explain why his family is acting so attentive. Well… attentive to Ollie.
I have so many questions running through my head. Not for the first time in my life, I wish I had someone to talk to. This morning, I was going to talk with Ronan because I thought he was my person. But he’s all business today. Before our night together, he was constantly touching me; now, afterward, nothing. When he puts his hand on the back of my neck, I feel grounded and calm. I miss it.
Ollie’s giggle fills the hallway as I make my way toward the playroom. I quicken my steps to get to the one person in this world I live for—the one person who loves me back. Ollie is playing with Xavier when I reach the room. He’s stacking large building blocks while Ollie knocks them down just as fast. Ollie giggles again, and I can’t help but smile.
“Good morning, Ollie,” I call out. He finishes the destruction in progress before turning to me.
