“He always calms down in your arms, Edmund,” Charlotte said. She had stopped by with Luke, interrupting Edmund’s day, although it was a welcome interruption. Edmund stared athis nephew, still impossibly small even though he had grown a lot since birth. Luke’s eyes were closed, and his lips were parted. Snuffling breaths rolled out of his mouth. Edmund and Charlotte spoke in low tones so as not to disturb him.
Edmund was rocking back and forth gently, wondering how something this small could grow into a man.
“I shall try not to take it as an insult. Hopefully, in the future, he shall find me more exciting.”
“I am sure you will make many fond memories together.”
“I cannot wait until he’s old enough to learn how to play cards. I just know that a lot of people are going to underestimate him. He’ll leave a great many people with egg on their faces,” Edmund grinned.
Charlotte narrowed her eyes.
“You might have to clear that with Nathaniel first. I am not sure he will approve of his child visiting the clubs you frequent. I am not sure I do either.”
“The boy has to get an education in every avenue of life. Better he take advantage of people than have people take advantage of him,” Edmund said.
Charlotte pursed her lips and wore a look that suggested she did not agree, although she declined to continue the argument fornow. Edmund pressed his fingers into the child’s body, feeling the weight of Luke, staring at the possibility locked within that tiny, scrunched up face.
“Isn’t it strange to think that one day we were as small as this?” Edmund said.
“Indeed. He has no idea of the life that awaits him.”
“It will be a grand one. We’ll all make certain of it,” he said. For a moment, he felt some hesitation flash in his mind. If he went through with leaving for a time, he would miss Luke growing up. He would leave when Luke was a baby, and when he returned? Well, Luke could be strapping like his father, fiercely intelligent like his mother.
“Does it make you consider having one of your own?” Charlotte asked, her question snapping him out of his thoughts. He stared at her and felt heat rising to his cheeks. He marched over to her and gently placed Luke in her arms.
“Certainly not. Far better to be an uncle and enjoy the child for short periods. As soon as he tantrums I can hand him back,” he said flippantly, with an arch of his eyebrow. Charlotte shook her head and kissed Luke on the forehead.
“It might do you well, Edmund. I was convinced I did not want this life for myself, but now that I have it, I couldn’t imagine things being any other way.”
“That’s grand for you, Charlotte.”
“For what it’s worth, I think you would make an excellent father.”
Edmund’s throat ran dry. He turned away from Charlotte as a mist filled his eyes. He kept his thoughts private, not wishing to share them with anyone, not even his sister.
The thing about fathers is that they can leave, whether they’re excellent or not.
He did not wish for history to repeat itself, but he could not risk that it would.
“I am excellent at everything else, so it’s only natural to assume I would be excellent at fatherhood as well. But it’s probably for the best. I would not want to outdo Nathaniel. I know how brooding he can be when he loses.”
Edmund managed to quell the maudlin emotions that threatened to overwhelm them. He masked them, as he had done so many times before, with his boyish, mischievous smirk, treating all the world as a joke because if he did, then nothing could hurt him.
“Believe me, Edmund, it is not Nathaniel that will lose in this situation,” Charlotte said quietly, still staring at the miracle she held in her arms. Something shifted in Edmund’s stomach.Charlotte would never know how deeply her words cut him, but there was nothing to be done about it.
Nothing at all.
“I must go and attend to the arrangements for the party,” he said, clipping his heels together and bowing before he left the room.
Edmund and George were walking briskly through the house.
“We must have only the most agreeable and pleasant people at the party, George. As I said, I do not want any bores.”
“Of course, Your Grace, although I did notice that you invited Leopold Johnson. Given his recent, ah,misdemeanor, are you sure that’s wise?”
“Leo? Oh yes, that was just a misunderstanding, not a misdemeanor. He’s always a good laugh. You can’t have a party without Leo. Make sure he attends,” Edmund said.
“Very well, Your Grace,” George said, although he looked as though he had aged dramatically in that single moment.
