So he moved to the door, which George opened. Edmund stared at the threshold and lifted his foot. He took a moment to reflect on his dark feelings and then tried to extinguish them as much as possible as he stepped over the threshold, intending to leave them behind in the room.
The breakfast hall was lively with chatter. It should have thrilled him to see all of his guests in such a good mood, but this occasion had never been about them. It was all about Rose, and she had not entered yet. He wondered if she might have slipped away quietly at dawn, not wishing to show her face again after the previous night.
They had been so close to something important, he felt, but then it eluded them both. Perhaps it was better this way. If they were to part, then let it be immediately.
Edmund smiled at everyone and held his arms open.
“Friends, family, it brings me so much joy to hear you speaking about my humble party in such glowing terms. I do hope that this event lives long in your memories. I am sad that it must come to an end, but is that not the way with all the good things in life? Enjoy the breakfast I have laid out for you, and I apologize if I do not get around to speaking to you all this morning. I am rather famished myself. It turns out that hosting a party can work up quite an appetite!”
There was a gentle murmur of laughter as Edmund rubbed his stomach and smiled. There were toasts and cries of ‘hear, hear!’ echoing around the table. Edmund slipped into his chair, and his gaze immediately turned to the empty chair on the other side of the table where Rose was supposed to be sitting.
“Lydia, do you know if Lady Rose and her parents intend to join us?” Edmund asked, attempting to sound as innocuous as possible.
“I assumed they would be here. Would you like me to check on her?” Lydia motioned to rise from the table, but Edmund stilled her with a gesture.
“No, I am sure that they have a good reason,” he replied.
“I am sure they will be here soon. I can’t imagine anyone would want to miss this feast, Your Grace,” Amelia said, fluttering her eyes toward Edmund. “It has been such a wonderful event. I daresay that I will never attend a more enjoyable party.”
“Thank you, Miss Whitfield. Your kind words are most welcome.”
“My pleasure, Your Grace. I have learned a lot over the past few days. I hope that one day I am afforded the opportunity to host such a party, once I am married, of course. I can think of nothing better than to celebrate good times with friends and family. It is all that matters in the world, after all.”
“Is it? You do not possess a sense of adventure, then?”
“I am sure that marriage will be an adventure enough,” Amelia replied with a knowing smile. Edmund returned the gesture with a polite expression, and he couldn’t help but think of Rose’s comments about Amelia, claiming that Amelia was the perfect match for him and would make a good duchess.
That might well be the case, but it was not toward Amelia that Edmund’s gaze drifted. It was not Amelia that occupied his thoughts.
“Have you enjoyed the party, Edmund? The host is always concerned about his guests, and sometimes they are the only ones who do not enjoy the event,” Charlotte said, bobbing Luke on her knee.
“It has been everything I hoped for and more,” he replied, and nobody questioned his words because they had no cause to. He had become adept at masking his true feelings, even from his family.
“It has been a pleasure making the acquaintance of Lady Rose,” Nathaniel said. “Have you finally decided to do what is proper and settle down?”
Alfred and Mary both coughed at the same time, food catching in their mouths. Clara looked up and glared sharply at Edmund.
“I am honestly not sure, Nathaniel. You have made such a good show of marriage that I am not sure I can compete,” Edmund replied.
“Marriage is not a competition,” Charlotte said.
“No, you are quite right, sister, but I would not want to speak about such personal matters over the breakfast table. Believe me, if I do decide to get married, then my family will be the first to know, aside from Lady Rose, of course,” he said, the words stinging his throat because he knew it would never come to pass.
The more he denied himself this future, the more he mourned it. Was it only alluring because he could not have it? Was he merely tormenting himself? Or was there something deeper? He pushed the thoughts away as best he could and turned his attention to Lydia.
“Speaking of marriage, I was thinking that it’s about time we made a concerted effort to find you a husband, Lydia. You have spent so much time speaking about the virtues of romance that it only seems natural you should finally experience it for yourself, if you are agreeable to the idea, of course.”
“I am,” Lydia said, the words rushing out in an excited breath. Her eyes widened, and a smile adorned her face. “I will be pleased to meet any suitors you deem suitable, brother. I am ready to be married.”
“Good,” Edmund said, leaning back in his chair. He steepled his fingers and felt a little more relaxed. The sooner Lydia married, the better. Then he could be away from infernal London and he could live the life that was always intended for him. Whatever awaited him when he returned to London, well, that was something to consider further down the line.
But just as he was thinking about this, he noticed movement out of the corner of his eyes. Rose and her parents entered the breakfast hall. Rose had her head held high. Her features were sharp, and the expression on her face was stoic. She reminded him of the icy swans that stood outside.
Their gazes met for a brief moment, but it was enough to make his stomach churn. He was instantly transported back to the previous night, and all he could think about was how things could have turned out so differently.
“Good morning, apologies that we’re late,” Lord Bolton said. Rose gracefully descended into her chair. Edmund tried to lookaway from her, but it was difficult. Everything she did was captivating, from placing the napkin on her lap to bringing her cup to her lips and sipping from it. Oh those heavenly lips, soft and sweet.
What a blessing it would be to become that juice and slide between her lips and linger on her tongue, or to be that cup that was held in her slender fingers. Edmund stabbed a sausage and chewed on it angrily. He looked around for anyone he could speak to, but it felt as though everyone was against him.
