Rose gave Lydia a withering look.
“They are only interested in me because they have been waiting for something to happen between Edmund and me. And if I have gained praise, it is not because I am graceful or carry myself withgreat poise or because I inspire everyone to think of nobility; it is because I happened to hit a ball well. That is hardly a quality befitting a duchess, is it?”
Lydia suppressed a smile. “Perhaps you could begin a trend,” she said, although Rose shot her a stern look. Lydia then adopted a more sympathetic expression and turned fully toward Rose, looking her in the eye.
“Rose, I have never known you to back away from a challenge or give up on something you want. I know how adamant you have been about avoiding marriage, so doesn’t it say something that you feel this way about Edmund? How many other men exist that would elicit these feelings from you?”
“I am not sure.”
“None, I would wager. And if he is the only man who makes you feel this way, then why give him up so easily? Why yield him to Amelia, who, as you say, could charm any man? Obviously, it would make my life easier if she were already taken, as I will not shine as brightly when standing next to the diamond, but I would not want that to happen at the expense of your happiness.”
“No, you would not because you are a wonderful friend, Lydia, and I am grateful for your counsel.”
“Do not be grateful for it, Rose. Heed it. Go and find Edmund now. Tell him what you just told me. Seize life, and live withoutregret. Would it be such an affront to your pride to admit you were wrong about marriage?”
“No… I suppose it would not be. You have given me much to think about,” Rose said. Lydia embraced her and kissed her cheek. Although she was slightly younger, there were moments when Lydia seemed far more mature.
“Then let me leave you with one last thought. Avoiding Edmund will not make your feelings disappear. You have read enough stories to know this to be true. If you do nothing about them, then they will dominate your mind for the rest of your life, and I can’t imagine you want this.”
Rose certainly did not, but was there any point in sharing her feelings when she knew that Edmund was just going to leave? She could imagine his face when she told him the truth, telling her that he was flattered, but she already knew of his plans, and he was not going to change them for her. This had all started as a game, and it was going to end in defeat because either way, she would have to suffer.
Rose was standing with her parents as the guests filed out of the house. Edmund was at the door, bidding farewell to each of them in turn. Rose wished she could skip this ritual, but there was no way to avoid it.
“Thank you again for coming. It was most wonderful to enjoy your presence, and I shall never forget your performance during Pall Mall, Lady Rose,” Edmund said.
She stared into his dark eyes. There was a coldness to them that had not been there the previous night.
“Thank you for inviting me, Your Grace. I shall never forget it.”
“We look forward to seeing you again soon,” Thomas said. Edmund offered a faint smile. His face was tense. He spoke little. Rose thought about what Lydia had said, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit anything to Edmund, not here, not like this. She would just have to endure.
That was the only choice left to her.
“Farewell, Lady Rose,” Edmund said. There was a sense of finality to his words that she could not ignore. Her eyes became misty with tears, but she swore she would not cry. This was never supposed to happen. She was never supposed to fall in love with him. She was only supposed to pretend.
Rose inclined her head and turned without saying a word. She did not even look back. She left Edmund behind, and it only dawned on her that she would never see him again when the carriage pulled away, for she assumed that the last promenade would be canceled.
There would be no more laughter, no more wry comments, no more infuriating smiles, no more heat prickling her skin, no more yearning in her lips, no more…
She turned away. Her eyes became misty with tears.
“Are you well, dear?” Margaret asked.
Rose turned her face to the window, angling it away from her parents, so they would not see her sorrow. It had been easier to think of sharing it when it had been feigned. She drew her thumb across her eyes and blinked away the drops that seemed so intent on breaking through, trying to resist the lure of sorrow.
Stonewood Manor faded into the distance, and with it went her feelings because, despite her best intentions, she had left a piece of her heart with Edmund.
Rose doubted he would take good care of it.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Aweek had passed.
A week of silence.
Rose was due to be taken on one final promenade, though she doubted it would happen. They seemed to have reached a mutual agreement that the fourth would be the last, and, frankly, the party had spanned a few days, so it was easy to consider it worth two promenades.
They had said all they needed to say, and there was nothing more to it.
