‘He won’t.’
Stella smiled gratefully. Louise was doing her best to be positive, but it couldn’t be easy. She’d have had a much better time if she and her kids had gone away on their own.
‘How often does Hector see Al?’ Louise asked, nudging the conversation on.
Stella took a sip of water from the plastic bottle she was carrying.
‘A lot. Two or three nights a week at least and pretty much all weekend. I’m sure he’d live there full-time if there was an extra bedroom. Al just couldn’t afford a bigger place, on top of our mortgage. The rent’s huge as it is.’
‘Does Hector still blame you for the split?’
‘Oh yes.’ Stella swallowed. ‘He idolises Al. I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me.’
‘It seems so unfair.’
Stella frowned. It was true she was the one who’d wanted the separation, but only after the atmosphere at home had become so toxic, it was impacting on everyone. It took two to create a mood like that. Why couldn’t Hector understand?
She knew he was insecure, in part, at least, because Al wasn’t his real father. He was a drunk named Robin who’d left when Hector was just eighteen months old. Stella had cut off all contact to protect her son and Robin had died of alcoholism a few years later.
Of course Hector had been affected by the split, and Stella had struggled, too. Then when Al had come on the scene some two years later, he’d literally scooped them both up and the world had brightened.
Ever since, Al could do no wrong in Hector’s eyes. He was the knight in shining armour, the conquering hero who’d always treated Hector as his own.
Hehadbeen an amazing stepdad, but Hector wasn’t a child any more. He was old enough to realise no one was perfect and he should be able to see things from Stella’s viewpoint, too.
Instead, he’d dropped out of university and was mucking about. His former school friends had largely turned their backs and he no doubt blamed her for that as well.
‘I could have a word with him if you like?’ Louise suggested. ‘He might listen to me. Don’t worry, I’ll choose my words carefully. It might be worth a try?’
Stella frowned. ‘Thanks, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. Not at the moment, anyway. He’d assume I put you up to it, which would make him even angrier, if that’s humanly possible.’
Going down the mountain was quicker than walking up and they soon came to the spot with the brightly coloured beehives.
Stella was keen to lighten the chat, but Louise had other ideas.
‘How’s work going?’ she asked, flicking off a fly, which had landed on her shoulder.
The question was undoubtedly loaded; Stella knew her friend too well.
‘Really bad.’ She pulled a face. ‘To be honest, I might wind up the business and look for something else.’
Louise went quiet with disapproval. She’d always been ambitious and had carved out a successful career in public relations. She didn’t believe in quitting; the word wasn’t in her vocabulary.
‘You need to market yourself again,’ she insisted, sounding slightly exasperated, because once Harriet’s funeral was over and the dust had settled, she’d been repeating the same mantra over and over. Stella might have felt hurt by her tone, but she told herself Louise was only trying to help.
‘I can give you a hand if you want. You’ve got a great little business but you need to kick start it again and shout about it more.’
‘I know.’ Stella sighed. ‘The problem is, my heart’s not in it any more. Since Harriet died, I haven’t been able to summon up much enthusiasm for anything. Maybe I should find a mundane nine to five job that won’t require much brainpower. I like the idea of being able to leave everything behind at the end of the day.’
‘You’d get bored very quickly doing a mundane job. Throwing yourself into your business again might take your mind off what’s happened. You worked so hard to get to where you were. It’d be tragic to walk away now.’
She was probably right, but it wasn’t what Stella wanted to hear. It was all very well telling her to buck up, but Louise hadn’t lost her oldest friend and separated from her husband, all in the space of eighteen months.
In fact, sometimes, Stella suspected Louise didn’t fully grasp why she was still grieving for her friend or her marriage at all; it was almost as if she expected her to be over everything by now.
It was just the little things she’d say, like, ‘Harriet had a good life, even though it was cut short. I guess it was her time to go,’ and, ‘You’ll come through this; be strong.’
Stella ignored the comments because they weren’t meant to be hurtful; they were just clumsily worded. It did make her wonder, though, whether Louise had ever really loved anyone as much as Stella had loved Harriet. Perhaps all her relationships, male and female, were less intense and that bit more superficial.
