‘Stella?’ he said, holding out his arms, wanting her to walk in and make everything better, but tears pricked her eyes and she shook her head.
‘I can’t, Al. I’m sorry.’
Turning back to the dishwasher, she heard him give a deep sigh before leaving the room. A few moments later, he slammed the front door behind him and was gone.
Looking back, she could see how difficult she’d been to live with – bad-tempered and martyrish. Her excuse was, she’d been so unhappy and consumed with grief, she couldn’t really think about anyone or anything, other than Harriet, Jon and Jemima. If only Al had let her be for a while. Ironically, it was his insistence on trying to be a good husband and get close to her that had driven her away.
Louise, who was ahead of Stella on the walk, stopped for a drink of water, making her refocus and stop, too. Louise looked like a seasoned hiker in her sturdy brown leather boots, thick socks, tan shorts, white T-shirt and khaki cotton hat with a wide brim.
She’d brought walking poles as well. Amelia had teased her about them before they set off, but was using them now, much to the amusement of Lily and Will. She said they were especially useful going downhill.
They’d been hiking for well over an hour when Louise clambered onto a flat rock and pointed.
‘I can see the path down to the beach. We’re almost there.’
They stood on tiptoe and peered round the side of her. The wide, crescent-shaped bay was clearly visible now and almost empty, save for a few rows of blue and white umbrellas in certain places.
The sea was so clear, you could spot the rocks and stones beneath. Stella couldn’t wait to explore underwater in her snorkelling gear.
Not for the first time that morning, she thought of Hector and greyness descended once more. It was sad he wasn’t with them. He used to love snorkelling, too. When he was about ten, they’d been on a family holiday to the Red Sea in Egypt and he’d spent practically the whole two weeks underwater with Stella, checking out the astonishing, multi-coloured sea life. Their fingers and toes were permanently like prunes. She was sure he’d have enjoyed the walk, too, if he’d only given himself permission to come.
A familiar anxiety nibbled at her insides. What was he doing now? Probably lying in bed in the dark, smoking roll-ups and getting more depressed.
Worry and a recurring sense of failure were grinding her down, leaving her feeling permanently exhausted. She tried to bat away the negative feelings by focusing harder on the view.
Their pace quickened as they began the steep descent and Lily started talking about lunch.
‘D’you think they’ll do proper food, not just sandwiches?’
They’d already decided to eat at The Mermaid Island Taverna, which stood on rocks a little way from the shore and could be reached via a wooden jetty.
‘They do all sorts of things,’ Stella replied. ‘Lots of fresh fish.’
When they finally stepped onto the white shingly beach and found a good spot to park their bags, Will immediately threw off his clothes and ran into the waves.
After putting on his bathing trunks, Jon spread out his towel next to Stella’s and sat for a few moments, staring out to sea.
They were just beyond the taverna, which looked charmingly rustic with its wooden sides and grassy canopy. Some people were eating and drinking in the outside dining area, but the place didn’t appear to be full.
‘I read it’s called Sweetwater Beach because there’s spring water just below the surface of the pebbles,’ Stella said, picking up a small, smooth, greyish stone and stroking it between her fingers. ‘You can dig for it. It comes from underground mountain springs and apparently you can drink it. Isn’t that amazing? No wonder the sea’s so clear.’
‘Mm.’ Jon nodded but she sensed he wasn’t really listening. He seemed a bit agitated, for some reason, tapping his fingers on his knee as if playing the piano.
‘Coming in?’ he said at last, rising and extending a hand.
He had an apprehensive frown, as if he feared she’d reject his offer. Not wishing to disappoint, she accepted his hand and allowed him to pull her up.
‘You go ahead,’ she said, once she was on her feet. ‘My swimsuit’s in the bag. I won’t be long.’
She hoped Louise and the girls would join them, but they were flat on their backs with their eyes closed and didn’t appear to have any intention of moving.
Will was still out there, swimming parallel to the beach, practising his manly crawl, but he’d probably have had enough soon.
Once she’d changed and pulled out her mask and snorkel, she padded gingerly over the pebbles to the water and tested the temperature with her toes. It was surprisingly chilly.
Jon was floating on his back a little way out, his feet facing the shore. As soon as he spotted her, he righted himself and gave a big wave.
‘It’s beautiful once you’re in,’ he called. ‘I’ve warmed up already.’
