‘But I thought…’ Hector’s voice trailed off. He still had doubts in his mind.
Stella did her best to reassure him.
‘Everything was so difficult after Harriet died,’ she explained, looking from Lily to Hector and back again. ‘Grief does strange things to people and I was in a very bad space. I’m sorry I put you all through that. I’d like to think we can turn over a new leaf.’
Al beckoned to the children and Lily swiftly joined him on the end of the lounger. He put an arm round her shoulders before patting the other side of the seat.
‘C’mon, Hector. There’s room for three. You can just about squeeze in.’
It was a tight fit and the lounger threatened to tip up, but nobody cared. Hector looked sheepish when Al hugged him, but didn’t protest. Meanwhile, Stella watched on, smiling, scarcely able to believe this was happening.
After lunch, she plucked up the courage to go and see Jon. Louise had been sitting with him, but she rose when Stella entered.
‘I’ll leave you to it,’ she said, giving Stella a look that meantgood luck. Stella smiled bravely back.
Jon was sitting up in bed, with an open book on his lap. He appeared pale and tired, Stella thought, but otherwise reasonably okay. He’d clearly washed and put on a clean white T-shirt, which she reckoned was a good sign.
‘How are you feeling?’ she asked, settling on the chair Louise had just vacated.
‘Not too bad thanks. You?’
‘Pretty well actually. Almost myself again.’
‘Good.’ A look of pain crossed his features. ‘Words can’t express how sorry I am,’ he said quietly, allowing his head to drop. ‘You nearly drowned because of me. What I did was selfish and unforgiveable.’
He drew in his legs and curled up in a ball, his forehead resting on his knees.
‘Please don’t blame yourself.’ Stella reached out to touch his arm. ‘You’re not well. You haven’t been for some time. But with the right help, you’re going to get better. We all want to see you happy again.’
At this, he made a choking sound and tears started to slip down his face. Stella inhaled sharply. She’d rarely seen a man cry. Her body stiffened and she clasped her throat involuntarily.
‘I’ve been such a fool.’ Jon glanced up, red-eyed, and tears splattered down the front of his T-shirt, leaving dark spots.
She desperately wanted to comfort him, but feared choosing the wrong words. She thought rapidly before speaking.
‘Jon,’ she said at last, in a firm tone that forced him to stop crying and focus on her. ‘Look, I’ve made mistakes too. Lots of them. Since Harriet died, I think we’ve both been a bit mad and done stupid things. But at least we can acknowledge it and everything’s in the open now. It’s time to pull ourselves together and sort ourselves out, don’t you think?’
He’d clearly heard but his eyes were downcast and he didn’t reply. Stella hesitated before pressing on.
‘There’s something else you need to know. Al’s moving back home. We should never have got separated. I wasn’t myself. It was a mistake.’
Jon remained silent and stared at her through puffy, bloodshot eyes. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. Stella felt herself shrink, afraid of what was to come. She glanced nervously at the closed door, wondering if he might flip again and she’d need to call for help.
Finally, after what seemed like an age, he wiped his nose with the back of a hand and gave a long, haunting sigh that twisted her heart, as if it had been gripped by a fist.
‘I’m glad for you,’ he said dully. ‘If it’s the right thing for you, it’s great news. Thanks for letting me know. I promise I won’t ever mention my feelings for you again.’
Stella exhaled deeply. She hadn’t realised she’d been holding her breath.
‘You’ll meet someone else,’ she went on cautiously, feeling as if she were tiptoeing over loose stones, waiting to trip. She was watching his face all the time, looking for clues, but he didn’t move or even blink.
‘There’ll be someone out there for you, I know it. In time, you’ll forget about me. You’ll look back on this holiday like a weird dream.’
To her great relief, he didn’t try to argue with her, but shook his head slowly several times. Her pulse, which had been sprinting, started to slow a little. At least he knew about her and Al now, she thought. She’d made her point and Jon had taken it better than she’d expected. This was surely some progress.
A tap on the door made them both look up, and Louise entered.
‘Can I get you anything?’
