Smile still in place, Mari looks back at me.
“How long was that?” It felt like twenty minutes.
“About ninety seconds.”
“It felt a lot longer.” My nose itches, and my shoulders cramp. “Maybe meditation isn’t for me.”
“Try again. It’s not something that you learn in a few moments. You can practice, and the more you do, the longer you’ll be able to meditate. It will help with impulse control and the constant feeling of urgency.” She takes both of my fidgeting hands and places them gently on my knees.
“You feel that urgency too?” I thought it was because I was never meant to be a vampire.
A soft musical sigh puffs from her mouth. “Every day, Tilda. You’re not alone. I’m your sister, even if a vampire family isn’t what you want.”
My chest tightens. “I’m glad to have you in my life, Mari. Please don’t think I’m not grateful for all you’ve done for me. Without you, I’d still be a prisoner under Pierre’s thumb. If Ionhadn’t come to our aid, Pierre would be in the world, terrorizing and killing. I’m glad to have both you and Sam as family, it’s only…”
“Only what?”
“I’m afraid I’ll hurt someone. I’m not made for a solitary life. Swans are not usually alone. Vampires are solitary to savor the feeding grounds in their area.” The urge to jump down and find something to feed on, despite my need for blood being satiated out of a bag only a few hours ago, is so strong.
“You are repeating things that Pierre taught us. I’ve found that coming here and making friends has made resisting feeding much easier.” She stands and walks to the stairs. “I won’t tell you what to do. You can stay or go as you please. If you’re certain that a cabin on a remote mountain is the only place you can find peace, then Sam and I will help you find that place. However, I wish you would stay in Harmony Glen and give this place and these people a chance. You might find peace on your mountain, but you could find happiness here.” She descends with a sweet smile.
The word “happiness” rings in my ears for a long time after Mari is gone. The idea of ever being happy seems impossible.
Remembering that hug in the street brings a sense of calm and warmth over me. If only I could be a swan again. Then there would be a chance of being whole.
Chapter Four
MAX
Tilda is all I can think about. I did something wrong, but I’ve replayed that afternoon over and over in my head, trying to find the moment, and I have no idea what it could have been that sent her running.
I waited ten days to give her some space before I couldn’t wait any longer, and under the guise of returning her dish from the cookies, I arrive just after dark. When I knock, I catch the scent of a high mountain lake coming from behind the house.
When there’s no response to the second knock, I walk around the side. I scan from the back corner of the house. Her scent is strong, but there’s no sign of her. “Tilda?”
I hear just a hint of air rushing into her lungs, she says, “I’m up here.”
I walk around the back side of the tower Sam built for Mari to meditate. It’s just a step for me to go over the wall. The other side is open, and there she is, taking my breath away. Dressed in a silky white jumpsuit that clings to her lithe body, her hair hangs loose and curls where it reaches the floor of the tower. Anarray of colorful pillows enhances the beauty of her pale hair and white clothes. “I…um…I brought your dish.” I hold up the gray-and-brown dish.
“I’ll come down.” She’s perfectly balanced as she takes the steps around the outside of the tower.
Still, I rush back around to offer her my hand. There’s half a beat where I think she might not touch me, but then she lays her tapered fingers over my hairy, hulking mitt. I let my breath out, not having realized I’d been holding it.
“Thank you, Max.” She takes the plate from me. “I’m sorry about the other day.”
“I wish I knew what I did to scare you away. I promise you it was never my intention.” The plan was not to mention what happened, but since she brought it up, I can’t resist the chance to know what I did.
“It wasn’t you, and I wasn’t afraid. I’m a vampire. I have little to fear, especially now that Pierre is gone.” She walks onto the deck and opens the slider. “Please, come in.”
Following, I duck through the slider, and I’m grateful for somewhat high ceilings. My home was built for my size. This was built for humans, but at least I don’t have to crouch. Once she’s put the plate in the kitchen, she turns and places her hands on the long island counter.
An upright piano stands in the front room with two chairs and a bookcase on one wall. The kitchen is open, with a post at one end of the island and a dining area between the front door and the den in the back of the house, with sliders leading to the deck.
I assume the hall to the right of the kitchen is the way to the bedrooms. I don’t want to think too long about where she sleeps, or I’ll embarrass myself.
She stares at the counter, with her hair concealing her face.
With my heart in my throat, I say, “You couldn’t get away from me fast enough. If it wasn’t me, what was it?”
