“Oh my God, that’s terrible.” I stand and walk over to him. Everything screams for me to soothe his frustration. But I hesitate to touch him.
“Jess feels there’s something Jasper wants that only Jonathan can provide. It’s why he finds him so valuable. We’re still trying to figure out what that is, though,” he says.
We both stand there for a moment, staring at the sunset, and its beautiful hues of orange, purple, and red. I don’t press any further; clearly this is a touchy subject, and perhaps Jonathan is someone he knew. I watch him as he seems lost in his thoughts.
“He told me he is using me for bait,” I say.
These words that should make me panic—make me terrified of what’s to come—don’t. All I can feel is this sense of calm, and I don’t know where it’s coming from. Maybe it’s knowing that Zayne wants to protect me, that I have people that are willing to help me.
His lingering stare bores a hole right through me, like he can see deep inside of me. My nerves start to get the better of me, and I just begin to ramble.
“It’s funny, I never crossed over until I came to Frequency, and even then, Jasper wasn’t the first person I saw.”
“What do you mean, not the first person?” He looks at me quizzically, and my cheeks redden. I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time.
“Damn, it’s late already. I promised Vix I’d be at the club early. I have to get ready.” I start to walk away.
“Myssa, wait,” he says.
“Thanks for dinner and the talk,” I say nervously, running up the stairs.
Chapter 24
Myssa
After closing the door, I lean against it and slowly slide down to the floor. Letting out a deep sigh, I hold my head in my hands. Why does he have to be so easy to talk to? He’s so open with me, and it’s a breath of fresh air from what I’m used to. It’s why I let my guard down. Those hazel eyes captivate me, and I get lost in the familiarity. His proximity when we’re in the same room makes my body come alive, as if my heart only beats for him. As if my soul knows him, has felt him, has loved him once upon a time. And if all these things are true, then why does my intuition stop me from sharing everything? Why am I so hesitant about sharing this secret about Lily—she’s a part of the Rebellion, after all, isn’t she? Maybe he already knows about her. But if he did, wouldn’t he tell me? All of this has been a lot to take in today. For now, I need a break, a night where I don’t have to think of anything. I’m tired of this little dance Zayne and I keep doing. Thinking back to what Vix said, I lean my head back against the door, looking over at my closet. Maybe it is to test her theory. I’m tired of wondering if he’s feeling the same way. With a deviant smirk on my face, I get up and walk over to the closet.And I just happen to have theperfect outfit for this tonight. Maybe it’s time to take this game up a notch.
A small knock on my door echoes through the room, I hear Zayne’s voice on the other side.
“Hey, Myssa. I have to head to the club,” he says.
As much as I’d like to open the door and drink in whatever he’s wearing tonight, I restrain myself.
“Sounds good, I’ll be down later,” I say nonchalantly.
I hear the front door shut a few minutes later. Grabbing my phone, I open Spotify and just let it play. “The Everlasting Gaze” from Smashing Pumpkins starts and I turn in up.
Staring at the outfit laid out on the bed, I already know I’m out of my comfort zone. This is one hundred percent a Vix outfit, and I can’t help feel a little intimidated as it stares back up at me. My insecurities try to talk me out of wearing something so bold.
“NO,” I scold at myself. It’s time I own who I am—after all, I’m an Original, aren’t I? I laugh.Geez, I sound like I’m a superhero or something.
“Fuck it, let’s do this.”
Sitting on the bed, I lace up my platform boots and stand. I make my way over to the mirror my gaze on the floor, not sure if I want to see what I look like. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and face the mirror. When I open my eyes, for the first time in a long time, I smile at my reflection. The sheer long-sleeved shirt ends at my midriff, exposing just a slit of skin. And I can honestly say I don’t hate it. My long black skirt, looking seemingly plain, is anything but. I move my leg, and the slits on each side expose the thigh-high fishnet stockings I have on.
I lean toward the mirror and tease my hair slightly, before checking my make-up one last time. My smokey eye shadow, with an under-shade of deep purple, make my green eyes pop.
I pucker my lips and dab them with a tissue. The combination of black eyeliner with a wine-colored shimmering lipstick gives them a depth that makes me feel bold.
Grabbing my silver rings and black beaded bracelets, I step back and take it all in.
The panic that normally tries to weasel into my thoughts attempts to seep in, but I’m not hearing it. Not tonight.
For the first time in a long time, I feel at home in my own skin. I’m embracing who I am for me and not for anyone else. And dare I say, I look fucking hot tonight.
What if he doesn’t feel the same way, though? What if I’m reading his signals wrong? I take a deep breath and shake the thoughts out of my head.Keep the faith, Myssa. A saying my dad always told me growing up. At the very least, I’ll know where I stand, and hey, who knows, it’s gonna be packed tonight. If Zayne doesn’t take interest maybe someone else will. After grabbing my keys and putting them in my small clutch, along with my phone and my credit card, I walk out the door toward the elevator.
Once in the club, I scan the floor, hoping to get a glimpse of Knox or Zayne, but the place is already starting to fill up. Walking over to the bar Vix is tending, I see a stool with a “reserved” sign. While Vix is preparing a drink, she looks over, stops mid-shake, and her gaze slowly peruses me from head to toe, before her lips purse to whistle. I smile as I step back to give her a better look, while flashing her my leg through the slit of my skirt. She mouths “fucking hot”, and I give her a half-curtsy. She points to the reserved sign, indicating that it’s for me, and I step over to sit. She brings me over a shot and a bourbon on the rocks.
