Chapter 12
Rae
My thoughts were goingeverywhere as I watched Caleb drive off.
When he said “my girl,” my heart started racing. I immediately knew he hadn't meant it the way my heart thought, though. We'd been friends for years, so he probably meant “my friend” instead. But even at just the thought of him calling me “his girl,” how he took time to put the cameras up and care for me—also how protective he sounded when he asked “who hurt you?” it turned me on.
I can trust Caleb, right? He’s never hurt me, and he doesn’t have a reason to, so why would he? I mean, unless I make him mad, maybe.I used to always make Ethan mad by messing up. I thought they were minor things—like not having dinner completely ready for him when he got home, or asking him for help with bringing groceries in. But those were the things that started his frustration. After that, anything could make him mad.
What if I do the same to Caleb?
I let out a frustrated sigh.
What if I ask for too much, or need him too often? I’ll push him away or make him upset with me.Ethan made me feel like I was nothing but a burden, like I was annoying just for needing anything at all.
No, Caleb isn’t like that. I know that. He’s patient, he’s kind, and he’s never once made me feel like I was in the way.I wished this stupid voice in my head would just shut up or tell me what the truth is! Because I thought I was safe with Ethan once, too...and look how that turned out.
I covered my face in frustration as I groaned at how exhausted my thoughts made me.Now I’m angry with myself. Great.
However, as I started to get ready for bed, I found myself continuing to think about Caleb. I picked up my toothbrush and mindlessly went through the motions of brushing my teeth while my thoughts were on other things.
Our faces had been inches from each other when he tilted my chin up. His hands were never rough with me, just gentle. My mind flashed to how close he was after I woke up when he brushed my hair out of my face. I heard my phone buzz in the other room and snapped out of my thoughts. I realized I was standing in the bathroom, leaning my hip against the sink with my toothbrush tucked into the corner of my mouth.
“Why am I getting myself all worked up over a guy who would never like me?” I groaned while glaring at myself in the mirror.
I went into the living room and found my phone. A few new text messages had come in. I opened the app and immediately, any ounce of happiness I had was now gone.
Ethan: I need to know that you're safe.
Ethan: Answer me back, dammit!
Ethan: Fuck you, you little bitch. I’m the only one who has ever cared about you and now you won’t even let me know you’re safe!
Ethan had texted again.
