Chapter 15
Rae
"Oh, dang it," I grumbledas I dropped my bag while walking out the front door. When I left here earlier, I had thought I would be eating pizza alone tonight. The last thing I expected was to be invited to come over and hang out by the firepit while Caleb cooked dinner. I remembered how his family made campfire food for dinner one night a week on the farm, and I felt like I was intruding on a special tradition of his. When we were at coffee the other day, he’d seemed sad and said that since his parents passed away and his brother had moved, he kept the tradition alive, but it was typically just him by the fire. Today he told me having company would be nice if I wanted to join him. He’d made sure to tell me I shouldn’t feel pressured to join him.
I agreed to join him and laughed when he told me not to bring anything. His parents would tell me the same thing when I used to come to campfire night. I picked up my bag and the two bottles of wine I had decided to bring, then turned around to lock the door.
Hearing the clink the bottles made in my bag made me giggle. I remembered one night I'd snuck wine out of my parents' house and brought it with me. Caleb and I opened the bottle when his parents took the leftovers to the house and tried it. We both hated the taste of the wine, spit it out, and hid the bottle to dispose of later.
I figured it was fitting that I brought a bottle or two tonight. Plus, a glass might help calm my nerves.
My stomach did flip-flops when I thought of joining him for dinner. Was I making a mistake by going? Just a couple of old friends catching up, right? So what if he was wildly attractive with those piercing blue eyes and that smile that made the butterflies in my stomach go crazy my first day back in town...and every day since? There was no way he liked me back then, and no way that he would like me now, right? Either way, I felt comfortable around him, and it would be nice to be around a friend for once.
I stopped in my tracks at the thought of the word “friend.” This was the first friend I had hung out with without supervision of some kind in years.
I shook off the thought and continued towards my car. I was determined to have fun tonight.
The fire crackled infront of us as Caleb wrapped up the last of the food he had cooked. "Dinner was really good, Caleb. Thank you for inviting me," I said as I shifted back into the truck bed. He had brought a couple of couch cushions, pillows, and multiple blankets for us to sit on or use if it got cold. He even brought a couple of flannels.
"Thank you for coming," Caleb said with a smile.
My chest tightened slightly when he smiled at me. I remembered how sweet he was when we were in high school together. How much I trusted him. I also remembered coming out to his parents’ farm on occasion for dinner by the campfire, and how I had wished we would confess to each other about our feelings for one another. Feelings that I had but had no idea if he’d felt the same. However, we never became more than friends, and then I moved away for college. Then I met...
“Rae?” He said my name with a curious and somewhat concerned tone in his voice, then passed me my glass that he'd refilled.
“Sorry, I must have zoned out for a bit there! I was just...Never mind,” I said with a half-hearted chuckle.
“What were you thinking about? You looked far away. Focused.” His voice was always so kind and warm when he spoke to me. He’d been that way back then, too.
“I—I was thinking about when I used to come out here in high school. How close we were. Then I lost touch—no, I just stopped reaching out when I moved away for college. Then when I met...Never mind. I’m sorry I stopped reaching out”. I tried to keep the frustration sound out of my voice, but instead, the words just tumbled out.
My eyes stayed focused on the fire as I spoke, and I did not look away until he reached out his hand and put it on mine. I flinched when our hands touched and he pulled away, afraid he’d spooked me.Dang it.
“I’m sorry if I startled you. I just wanted to say that you have nothing to apologize for. I could have been better at reaching out as well, but we were kids. We both were trying to start our lives at college. Do I regret losing touch with someone I really cared about? Yes. You were my best friend in high school, and I cared about you. I was sad we lost touch. However, I am glad that life brought you back here—for whatever reason that may be.”
I looked at him briefly, and whispered, “thank you” before tears started to well up in my eyes and I quickly looked back at the fire.Darn emotions. This wine probably isn’t helping.
Shifting a bit closer, Caleb quietly asked, “Hey, are you okay? I mean it. You have nothing to...”
I tensed briefly but forced myself to calm down. I hoped he hadn’t noticed because I didn’t want him to think he was the reason. I looked back at Caleb and attempted to blink away the tears, but one fell.I can’t lie to him. He knows me too well.
“No. I mean, yes. I’m okay. What you just said was probably the nicest thing that a guy has said to me in a long time,” I said, just above a whisper, as I tried to hide the tears that were falling now. I quickly wiped at the tears with my hand and then smiled, hoping he would forget the words I had just said. “Sorry...”
Duke stood and walked over to me, placing his head in my lap. I gently petted his soft ears, wishing it would bring me some comfort.
