Chapter 32
Rae
Isat on the bed asI heard Caleb walk to the door of the room. He said he would only be gone a couple of minutes, and I believed him, but it didn’t help my fear of the darkness.
My eyes had adjusted some, but it didn’t help that lightning occasionally messed that up. Every noise seemed amplified. I heard Caleb’s footsteps, the creaking of the house with the wind, and every noise seemed louder than normal.
I needed to focus on something else for the time he was gone, so I reached out to touch Duke. The sweet pup pushed his cold, wet nose against my hand before standing up and coming to where I sat. I felt him turn and face away from me, and I knew it was because he was watching out for me. He sensed I was scared and understood that Caleb wanted him to stay with me. I pet his head and back, feeling a bit calmer.
“Hey, Rae, I got the lanterns and flashlights, but I am trying to look for the extra batteries I thought I had in here. Are you doing okay?”
“I—think so.” Duke nosed my hand before turning around to watch out for me again.
“Okay, Sunshine. I will only be a couple more minutes. I’m so sorry.”
“No. It’s okay.” I tried to be brave or at least sound like I was. I felt so bad that he was doing all of this for me, that I was crippled by the fear. I was so embarrassed.
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard noise coming from the front room, like Caleb was ripping open cardboard packaging. Maybe he found the batteries.
A few moments passed before light illuminated the front room and I saw Caleb holding a little lantern. I breathed a sigh of relief as he picked up the box and walked towards the bedroom.
“Hey, sorry it took so long. I apparently forgot to put the batteries in the box after I bought them.”
He walked over, set the little lantern on the nightstand, and began lighting the candles, filling the room with a soft glow.
It had been a longtime since the power had gone out, and while the storm had shifted to just rain, the power had not been restored. Caleb’s and my phones had died about two hours after the power went out and it was kind of nice to be cut off from the world, since I was here and safe with him.
Duke was lying at the foot of the bed, and I sat across from Caleb, surprised at the calm feeling in me. If I had been in this situation without Caleb, it would have felt suffocating. I wouldn’t have been able to come out of the panic attack. However, with him, I felt strong, maybe even brave.
He had brought us snacks from the kitchen since we couldn’t cook dinner. We were having jerky, cashews, and crackers with peanut butter for dinner, and I enjoyed the simplicity of it.
“Want another cracker?” Caleb asked as he held out a sleeve of them.
I laughed at the idea because I was so full. “No, thank you, though.”
He smiled at me, the flames of the candles on the nightstand flickering in his blue eyes. The warm light they gave off caused the red tint in his beard to stand out more. He was so handsome.
He placed the crackers and jar of peanut butter on the nightstand and then shifted closer to me. Our legs were crisscrossed in front of us, and that was the only thing preventing him from coming closer. He took my hands in his and looked at me, like really looked at me. I found myself thankful for the darkness the power outage brought because I knew I was blushing. I looked down at our hands, feeling nervous and shy but somehow safe at the same time.
“How are you feeling, Sunshine?” His voice was warm and comforting, like when he had pulled me out of my panic attack earlier. That voice,hisvoice, is what brought me back to reality.
If I was honest, I was embarrassed and ashamed, but I didn’t want to admit it.
He reached up and pushed my hair behind my ear, leaving his hand at my jaw and gently moving it along my skin. “Honey, there is no reason to be embarrassed about having a panic attack.”
My eyes immediately met his and locked in. “How—how did you know exactly what I was thinking?”Did I say what I was thinking and not realize it?
“Because I know my girl.” His thumb traced back and forth along my jaw. That movement, the fact that hedidknow me so well, and the smile he gave me caused warmth to bloom through me, melting the fear I didn’t realize I was still holding, reminding me what safety was supposed to feel like.
