Chapter 48
Rae
“This is so stressful. I just want this to be done with—” I excused myself to the spare bathroom once Santana took the photos, and now I was hiding out, listening to Caleb talk to his squad.
I couldn't hear everything, but hearing Caleb say it was stressful caused my heart to break a bit.
I sat on the edge of the tub, leaning over, with my head in my hands. I was wearing one of Caleb’s hoodies, and the sleeves were damp with tears.
I hated this. Not just the fear and not just the memories. I hated Ethan. I hated myself.
Why would Caleb even want to stay with me after this? He’d probably be better off with someone who doesn’t bring this much chaos into his life. I’d dragged Caleb into this mess. Into the chaos of my past. The creepy messages and sleepless nights. Or the way I second-guessed everything and didn’t know how to stop falling apart. He had already done more than anyone had ever done for me, and now I’d brought chaos to his home, too.
What if Ethan tried something? What if he came here again, and what if Caleb got hurt just because he cared?
My eyes burned and my chest ached like it had been ripped out and stomped on. I hated crying this much, but Caleb said it was a normal trauma response and I was healing. I missed the old me, though. Caleb called me Sunshine for a reason, but I have not felt like her recently.
I slid from the edge of the tub to the bathmat and pressed my forehead to my knees, letting out a shaky breath. “You’re selfish,” I whispered to myself. “You should’ve never stayed.”
A quiet knock broke the silence. “Rae?” Caleb’s voice was soft on the other side of the door. “You okay?”
I didn't answer at first. My lips were too tight, and I was afraid I’d break if I spoke. After a moment, I stood, wiped my face, and cracked open the door. He stood there in a worn T-shirt and flannel pants, barefoot and backlit by the dim hallway light. His brows pulled together the second he saw my face.Gosh, I’ve caused him to worry too much.I opened the bathroom door and stared at him for a moment, fighting back tears. Duke stood at his feet, looking up at me.
“Hey.” He reached for me, but I stepped out and gently pushed past him, heading toward the kitchen, needing space—needing to get out what I needed to say before I chickened out.
He followed me.
I stopped at the edge of the counter, hands gripping it, back to him.Spit it out, Rae.
“I need to go.” It felt like the air in the room became so thin once I said it. Silence stretched behind me.
“I should’ve left sooner,” I said, my voice barely steady. “This was a mistake. Being here, staying here. You’ve already done so much for me, and now I’ve dragged you into something possibly dangerous. This isn’t fair to you. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not trying to be controlling, but you’re not leaving.”
I turned, startled by the firmness in his voice. He looked apologetic for his tone since it wasn’t how he ever spoke to me. I could tell he wasn’t angry, but he was serious.
“Caleb—”
