“It’s nothing,” I mutter, moving towards the kitchen. “Just needed to blow off some steam.”
“Bullshit.” The word is flat, emotionless, just like my brother. He takes another pull from his cigar. “You don’t run like that unless there’s something bothering you. Vampires aren’t enough to get under your skin, even if they bite you. That tells me whatever it is, you don’t want to tell me, so just save both of us some time and spit it out.”
I grab a glass from the cabinet, filling it with water I don’t really want. I finally turn and look at him, a long sigh blowing through the smoke in the air as I return to the living room. “Hayden found his mate.”
“Impossible,” he growls flatly, drinking a gulp of whiskey.
“I know it’s impossible,” I reply, sipping the water. “It still happened.”
Jaxton leans forward. He studies me for a long moment, his golden brown eyes staring into my soul. They light up when the tip of his cigar glows from his next puff.
“A she-wolf?” he asks.
“No, some kind of Scion. He doesn’t know what she is,” I answer. “I met her. I don’t know either. She’s not Fae. She’s not a witch. Definitely not a she-wolf.”
“What does Wyatt think?” Jaxton sips his whiskey, taking a smaller drink this time. He stubs out his cigar.
“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him. Not sure if Hayden has,” I admit. “Things happened fast. I’m still trying to make sense of it. Somehow this… girl,Ansley, she knew where the vampires were. Her best friend was part of the blood bank.”
“The way you said her name,” Jaxton says, his eyes narrowing. “You said she’s Hayden’s mate. What was that in your voice?”
“Fuck,” I groan. I can’t hide anything from him. “I met her, like I said. I felt something too. It’s fucking with my head. Like, really, reallyfuckingwith my head.”
“Did you tell Hayden?” he asks, then he answers that question himself. Probably because of my body language. “No, you wouldn’t. I wouldn’t either. Fuck.”
We’re both quiet for a moment, the silence saying everything. I won’t betray my brother. I’d take it to the grave. Maybe go rogue, and just… no, I could never do that. I need my brothers, even if we’re not the same pack we once were. If something happened to them because I left, I might as well be dead, too.
“Vampires, you say. In a cathedral?” Jaxton’s chuckle rumbles. “Let’s get to it, then.”
“Yeah,” I mutter.
Jaxton stands up and I follow him to the door of the bedroom. His bed is an enormous pile of fur thicker than any human mattress. The kind we slept on when we still lived in a cave, instead of a concrete forest, blending in with the humans.
“You going to carry this shit for me?” Jaxton asks. “I don’t want to wear a damn backpack if we’re using our Natural Form.”
“Hayden never wears his either,” I sigh. “Yeah, it doesn’t slow me down. I’ll carry it.”
“Chafes my damn armpits unless I run slow, no matter how much I adjust it,” Jaxton grunts, tossing some things into the specialized backpack Storm had made for each of us.
“Can I ask you something?” I ask, looking down, leaning against the doorframe.
“Ask away,” Jaxton says.
“When you… I know Joanna wasn’t your mate. But you loved her, right? You felt a pull towards her?” I ask, instantly regretting it when I see the pain settle into Jaxton’s scowl.
“I’m going to let you ask about this once,” Jaxton growls. “Then never again. Got it?”
“Yes,” I answer.
“This is only because of what you told me. What I felt for Joanna wasn’t a mate’s bond. Not like our parents had. It was… what I would call love. It wasn’t instinct. But yes, I loved her. I gave up ever finding my true mate because of it. Almost.” He chokes up for a moment. “We never wed.”
“I’m sorry I brought it up. I just… you’re the only one of us who has ever had that,” I sigh. “I thought, maybe… I don’t know.”
“I get it, Remy,” he replies, tossing the backpack at my feet. “That’s why I let you ask about it. Once. Bonding with a mate and love are two different things. That’s what I believe. Sometimes you find one, sometimes you find the other, sometimes you get lucky and find both. But I felt like the luckiest man alive when I found love. I didn’t need a mate bond.”
I pick up the backpack and Jaxton pushes past me. I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or worse. I don’tloveAnsley. What I feel isn’t that. It’s instinct.
But that doesn’t make it any less brutal. I still have her scent in my nose.
