‘If I have the chance, yes,’ he growls so darkly, my smirk vanishes. I believe him.
‘Well, I wouldn’t want you to,’ I say, squeezing his fingers and pulling my hand away to pick up my coffee again. ‘He’s nothing to me now, so none of it matters.’
Mateo’s whole face changes at my words. He goes from vengeful warrior to hopeful golden retriever in a split second and it’s mind-blowingly cute. It makes me want to jump on him and kiss him until our lips bleed.
‘Good,’ he says, reaching for his own coffee. ‘I’m pleased you feel that way. And if you have any doubts, I understand, but you will soon see that I don’t want anyone but you. Give me a chance to prove myself with actions. Not just words.’
‘You did a good job at erasing most of my doubts last night. And this morning,’ I add, smiling into my cup, trying to hide my furious blushing at his statement.
‘I think I see a doubt or two still left in you, though, so we should probably stay here all day working on them.’
‘Probably. In fact, now that I think about it, I have quite a few doubts left.’
‘That sounds serious. Better make it a couple of days.’
‘Maybe a week.’
‘Maybe a month. You know what, make it a year. Let’s just move in here.’
We smile mischievously at each other until he breaks into a laugh. I sip my coffee triumphantly. He sighs.
‘I can’t believe how much you went through because ofhim. All those things that were written in the press. You are so resilient and strong. I’m in awe of you.’
‘Surely not at the beginning. You didn’t want me in the stables.’
‘I was worried you didn’t know what you were doing, but I still thought you were the most extraordinary woman I’d ever met,’ he says casually whilst ladling some fruit into a bowl, as though he hasn’t just said something so wonderful, it’s winded me. ‘You didn’t care what people thought. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever had to suffer. I couldn’t take my eyes off you, so I had to force myself to. Otherwise you’d have thought I was creepy, staring at you all day. Christ, when you were half-naked in the tack room on the first day, I didn’t know what I was going to do.’
‘It was so embarrassing.’
‘No,’ he counters. ‘It was torture.’
I smile down at my lap, admitting quietly, ‘I did care what people thought when I started at Maycourt. I do care.’
He doesn’t say anything, waiting for me to expand.
‘I care what people think of me. I’ve had to train myself to put up a shield to it. I wouldn’t have survived the fashion industry without it. My mum’s always been good at that and I admire that about her; I think I’ve tried to emulate it. But it still hurts, feeling like an outsider. I’ve felt like that a lot, especially this year. The truth is, I act tough but everyone wants to be liked.’
His eyes are glistening as he watches me, his jaw set.
‘I know how it feels to see yourself as an outsider,’ he says. ‘I’m so sorry, Ash.’
‘Actually, it’s reassuring to know that you were thinkingnice things about me when I started at Maycourt, when I was feeling so grim,’ I admit, ready to lighten the tone.
‘“Nice” isn’t the word I’d use,’ he says, shooting me a dangerous grin. ‘Those riding lessons were excrutiating. Being around you all the time, no idea how you felt.’
‘I obviously fancied you. Look at you. I’m not a robot.’
He laughs. ‘That’s something.’ He hesitates, a thought suddenly bothering him. ‘I’ve been good at shutting people out before, but what I’m not, Ash, is a person who goes around sneakily stealing someone’s girlfriend and breaking her heart for the hell of it.’
‘You’re talking about Emma.’
‘I did date her soon after she and Basilio broke up. Too soon, to be honest. I was young and proud and too focused on living in the moment to think about consequences. And very drunk. But I didn’t steal her. They broke up because they cheated on each other.’
‘Oh! That’s a sign of a healthy relationship,’ I remark drily.
‘She did not cheat with me either, I would like to say. But Basilio determined I did.’ He sighs heavily. ‘He hated me, anyway, so why not throw that in? It didn’t matter that he’d cheated on her countless times – I was chosen to be the bad guy.’
‘Guess you shagging her so soon after they broke up didn’t help.’
