She gave me the address and we headed there first. Afterward, we drove to the cemetery, the flowers sitting atop her lap as she clutched them tightly. I noticed her white knuckles and slid my hand over them to soothe her.
She glanced over at me and smiled, her translucent green eyes shining in the sunlight.
“Thank you for coming with me today.”
“Sure. Do you usually go by yourself?”
“Always,” she said, her voice sad and wistful. “You’re the first person I’ve ever asked to go with me.”
Surprise coursed through me at her admission. “You never asked Michael?”
“No. He had enough on his hands, and I just wasn’t sure he’d understand my grief.” Her eyes met mine. “Unfortunately, you do, so here we are.”
I remained silent, unable to deny the shared connection that pulsed between us.
“At least it’s a beautiful day,” she said, lightening the mood a bit. “I hope I’m not keeping you from anything important at work.”
“I mostly make my own schedule,” I said, shrugging. “My new boss is going to be a pain in the ass, but most agents are in the field as much as we’re in the office. It’s not a problem at all.”
“Tell me about the cases you’re working on.”
I grimaced. “They’re kind of dark, and I don’t want to kill the vibe.”
Laughing, she bit her lip. “Well, it’s already a pretty dark day, but okay. Then tell me about your mom.”
Grinning, I felt love swell in my chest as it always did when I thought of her. “She was such a beautiful soul. Caring and sweet, but she’d also put you in your place if you messed up. She had such a glowing smile, and I did my best to see it as often as I could.”
“Oh, you’re a mama’s boy?” Katia teased.
“One-hundred percent,” I confirmed with a nod. “I was her only kid, and she doted on me. But she also taught me right from wrong and punished me when I didn’t live up to her ideals. It made me who I am, along with my dad, who’s a great guy too.”
“How did she pass away?” Katia asked softly.
Sighing, my fingers tightened on the wheel. “She started feeling really tired and having these weird stomach issues when I was fifteen. My dad wanted her to go to the doctor, and she said she would, but it took her a while. When she eventually went, we found out she had stage IV pancreatic cancer. She died four weeks after her diagnosis.”
Katia inhaled a sharp breath. “Leo, that’s awful.” My hand still covered hers atop the flowers, and she switched positions, gliding her hand over mine. Squeezing, she shook her head. “You lost her so quickly.”
“Yeah. It was a big shock, for sure. She and my dad loved each other so much, and he was devastated. I tried my best to console him, and he did the same for me. We got through it, but neither of us were ever the same.”
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“It’s okay.” Turning my palm up, I laced our fingers together. “You know better than anyone how much it hurts.”
Her features fell, sadness covering them as she nodded. “Elena got caught up in the local trafficking ring in Estonia. It started with drugs, and once she was addicted, she...used her body to get more. They eventually brought her to America because, well, she was pretty and they knew they could make money off of her.”
“Fucking bastards.”
She expelled a long, slow breath. “I came here to save her, and I failed terribly. I gave up on forgiving myself a long timeago. Now, I just try my best to remember her and live a good life to honor the one she couldn’t live.”
Pain constricted my heart at her agonizing words. “I know you understand that it’s not your fault. It’s not fair to blame yourself.”
Leaning her temple on the seat, she faced me, her perfect lips forming a soul-wrenching smile. “I learned a long time ago that nothing is fair.”
I tightened my fingers around hers. “True. But blaming yourself does nothing.”
“I know. It just feels better sometimes.”
We pulled into the cemetery and she told me where to park. After exiting the car, she led me to her sister’s grave and set the flowers in front of the tombstone.
