‘I’m not sure “really enjoyed” is a fair summation, Raff. I almost fell asleep at the dinner table. So come on!’ continues my best friend, looking encouragingly at me. ‘Let us live vicariously through this new romance of yours please.’
I clear my throat. ‘Right. Well, she’s lovely. Intelligent. Funny. Beautiful.’ And off I go, telling them about the alphabet dating idea. ‘There’s just one problem.’
‘Oh?’ Frowns Ellie as she pulls some hot croissants out of the oven.
‘Yeah. She’s a self-confessed cynic when it comes to love.’
Raff hoots. ‘You really do know how to pick them to make life hard on yourself. Remember the last one?’
I roll my eyes. Of course I remember “the last one” as Raff charmingly puts it, but it strikes me that I haven’t thought abouthersince Alice arrived.
‘Stop teasing him,’ Ellie says, poking my brother in the ribs.
Raff holds his hands up. ‘All right, all right! I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all know that you’re a die-hard romantic Zach, and now you’re saying you’ve found yourself a cynic? Doesn’t exactly sound like a recipe for success to me.’
I scratch my head. Raff’s right. What makes me qualified to win Alice over when she already seems to have made her mind up that there’s no such thing as the one? Back in the comfort of my family home, I decide I may as well lay all my concerns bare.
‘It gets worse. On our last date she took me to a comedy gig, it turns out she’s best friends with Dylan Smith …’
‘Shut the front door,’ shouts Ellie, croissant crumbs spraying from her mouth. ‘I love him.’
Raff bristles on both of our behalf.
‘Our Zach is even better looking,’ he says, and I can’t help but laugh. ‘Is that the problem, then? You’re worried that Alice used to be involved with her dashingly handsome and quite famous best friend?’
‘Actually no, that wasn’t the problem until you just suggested it.’
Ellie punches Raff on the arm.
‘Dick,’ she says. ‘Now you’ve made him paranoid!’
‘Sorry bro. I’m sure they weren’t … um. You know. I bet they never …’
AndnowI can’t stop thinking about what Raff bets they never did.
‘Ignore him,’ commands Ellie. ‘Everyone has a past and it’s still early days for you guys, so you should just focus on enjoying that, right?’
‘But what was the problem?’ Raff presses.
‘Well, we went out for a drink after Dylan’s gig and when I came back from the loo I overheard Dylan saying something to Alice about a three date rule. As if she had this rule? I didn’t pick up much more because they changed the subject as soon as they saw me, but he seemed to be joking about a three date limit or something. So now I’m wondering if she doesn’t ever go on more than three dates with one guy and if that’s it for us.’
‘Oh man, there’s a lot going on in that head of yours bro,’ Raff taps my temple and I swat him away. ‘You need to chill out a bit, like me,’ he adds, getting up to check Tiny’s food supplies for the third time this morning.
Genetically speaking, I have no hope.
‘There’s only one way to find out about that, Zach,’ says Ellie. ‘Ask her out here! Won’t this be your third slash fourth date?’
I nod. ‘I was thinking we could do a dog walk with Tiny for our D date.’
‘There you go then. If she comes, you’ve got nothing to worry about.’
Later, as my bro straps Fran and Sienna into their car seats in the back of his tatty old Defender, Ellie pulls me to one side.
‘Don’t pay any attention to what Raff said, will you?’
‘You mean about my ex?’
Ellie nods. ‘You’re my best friend as well as my brother-in-law and I know what you’re like. You’ll be overthinking what he said the minute we drive off. There’s absolutely nothing to say that history will repeat itself, okay? We all make mistakes and we all fall for the wrong person at some point. Don’t let that stop you from finding happiness again. So what if you and Alice are different? The best relationships I know are based on finding the joy in being together, not sharing the exact same outlook on life.’
