‘Because technically, this is our third date. Or maybe even our fourth if you include the night we met,’ I say.
‘Excellent maths,’ she says with a smile, though her expression’s changed slightly.
‘Thank you. I, um, heard you and Dylan talking about a three-date rule when we were out last week.’
‘Ah,’ Alice pauses. We’re making our way back to the village now and I stop to put Tiny’s lead back on, which he isn’t thrilled about. Alice carries on talking but I notice that for the first time there’s more hesitancy in the way she speaks. ‘So … yeah. I don’t usually go on any more than three dates with one guy.’
‘Why’s that?’
‘Oof, where to start?’ She says, kicking some cut grass off her boots. She’s lost in thought for a bit and I find myself wrestling with a tonne of emotions. Does the fact that we’ve made it here mean she’s into me more than anyone else she’s dated? Or is she not counting the night we first met as a date? Will this be our last?
After a pause, Alice catches my eye with a wry smile. ‘Listen, Zach, I’m not great at opening up about stuff or … talking about my feelings much?’ She looks apologetic and I realise I’m holding my breath. ‘But basically yes, I generally don’t date anyone for very long. It’s kind of an unwritten rule of mine.’
Fuck.
Tell her you like her!
‘May I make a case for myself?’ I say.
She looks at me with that half-smile again, like she’s trying to make up her own mind about how she’s feeling.
‘I completely respect the fact that you don’t want to open up about stuff and I would never pressure you to do that, but I’d just like to put this out there. I really like you, Alice. I feel like we have a connection that is so worth exploring and I’d hate for that to be cut short. Being around you is amazing. I’d love for us to spend more time together, go on adventures, dance under the stars.’
What? MATE.
‘Hang on, that sounded really cheesy,’ I check myself, trying to find some words to make myself sound like less of a cheese ball when Tiny decides to take matters into his own hands. Tugging on the lead, he races towards Raff’s house and I’m left with no option other than to race after him, leaving my ridiculous words hanging in the air.
I kick off my boots in the hallway and usher Alice inside, but she lingers at the door.
‘There’s some prosecco in the fridge,’ I say. ‘I thought we could celebrate your win.’
‘Oh?’
‘The race to the tree?’
She laughs, but I notice that she still hasn’t taken her boots off.
‘Actually, Zach, I think I’m going to head back into Sheffield.’
‘No!’ I clear my throat. ‘I mean, I’d love you to stay. I was going to cook us some dinner later, if you fancy it?’
‘That’s really sweet of you but I’d better get back.’
‘Okay,’ I reply, failing to hide the disappointment in my voice. ‘I can drive you back?’
‘Nah it’s fine, I got an open return …’
‘Let me at least drive you to the train station, then?’
‘It’s not far away,’ she smiles. ‘I think I can manage a few more minutes on foot before I need a sit down.’
Crestfallen, I realise there’s nothing I can do so I move to kiss her goodbye, but Alice has turned her attention to Tiny. Then she plants a kiss on my cheek and as I watch her leave, the doubt creeps in. That kiss felt perfunctory, the kind of thing you might give an elderly relative.
Shit. I came on too strong, didn’t I? I’ve freaked her out and now she’s left and I can’t take it back, or make it better. Once she’s out of sight I step past my boots and shut the front door, knowing very well that I’m going to be sweating over my mistakes and that kiss for the foreseeable.
Later, I make enough pasta for the two of us anyway, only now I’ve realised that I’ve lost my appetite. I stack the dishwasher despondently. I’d hoped to spend the evening here with Alice, just the two of us getting to know each other better. Instead it’s just me and Tiny, who has clearly picked up on my mood. He pads over to Raff’s booze cabinet and lies down next to it, his wet nose by the handle.
‘Whiskey it is, Tiny. You’re absolutely right.’
