‘Zach, I …’ she pauses and I realise I’m holding my breath. ‘I don’t want to get hurt.’
‘I would never hurt you.’
‘You don’t know that,’ she frowns.
‘Alice, all my life I’ve doubted myself and I’m pretty bad at overthinking things, usually to the point where I decide I’ve said or done something stupid or embarrassing. When I’m with you all of that seems … quieter? Like my head’s turned the volume down on all of the worry that can get the better of me. I think what I’m saying is that with you everything seems so much easier. You help to bring me out of my shell …’ I pause, scratching my head and inevitably overthinking what I’ve just said. ‘You’re right, I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you but I can promise that I’ll put my all into you and me. I think there could be something real here, if you wanted to give us a go?’
Alice breaks eye contact and stares off at the screen.
‘The film’s about to start,’ she says absent-mindedly.
I take that as a no, feeling like a balloon that’s just popped and is instantly deflated.
Turning my head towards the setting sun, a crashing sense of disappointment floods through me. That’s when Alice scooches over, sitting down between my legs so that we’re both still facing the screen. I wrap my arms around her and she turns to whisper in my ear.
‘Go on, then.’
‘Huh? Are you saying you’re in?’ I lean back to look at her, not wanting to miss this moment.
‘I’m in. Just … go easy on me, okay? Let’s take things slowly.’
‘It’s a deal,’ I reply, not even bothering to hide the huge grin spreading across my face.
Two hours later as the film credits roll, she leans into my body and I breathe in the apple scent of her hair, realising that I’ve been smiling non-stop for the entire movie.
‘Zach?’
‘Mmm?’
‘I love that you were Julia Roberts in that scenario,’ she snorts.
‘And you made a very beautiful William Thacker. I can’t say I’ve ever wanted to kiss Hugh Grant before.’
‘Hugh would readily accept that kiss,’ she says, curling her body around until she’s facing me. My mouth finds hers and we kiss under the oak tree. I’d happily stay here all night but Alice’s phone beeps and she pulls it out of her pocket.
‘Sorry, I should check this,’ she says. ‘I’ve got a couple of important orders tomorrow and need to make sure everything is ok. And look at the time! We should probably head back?’
I’m about to persuade her that we could stay for one more drink but she’s already started rolling up the picnic blanket. So we walk hand in hand back to the car, pile our stuff into Gerty’s boot and set off.
Alice is quiet on the drive back and I don’t want to distract her when she’s sorting out a few work things so I concentrate on the drive, replaying the best bits of tonight in my mind and feeling seriously chuffed that she’s agreed to make our relationship official. I know it’s a huge deal for her and I still can’t quite believe that she’s chosen me. I’d love the date to have lasted longer but with Alice, I’m learning to grateful for what’s happening right now rather than rushing headfirst into the next thing.
Suddenly I’m aware of Alice’s hand moving over to rest on my knee.
I allow myself a quick glance at her and she’s leaning her head back against the head rest, a smile on her lips. The music’s off, there’s nothing but the sound of our breathing filling the space and the atmosphere in the car has intensified. The hairs on my arm stand to attention. I know she can sense it too, because we’ve spent all day in easy conversation and yet now, neither of us is speaking. We don’t need to. The anticipation is enough.
I listen to the air whipping in through the open window. She’s started oh so gently circling her thumb around my thigh.
Finally we pull up at Alice’s house and I’m not sure what to expect, her request to take things slowly still echoing through my head. I follow her to her front door and she turns, grabbing both my hands.
‘I’ve had the best day,’ she says.
I kiss her then under the cover of twilight.
She pulls her keys out of her bag, opening the door before turning back to me.
‘Do you want to come in?’ she asks, eyes bright.
‘Are you sure?’ I ask, not wanting her to feel like she’s under any pressure.
