‘She broke up with me on the day of my exhibition,’ he says, wincing.
‘The day we met?’
‘The day we met,’ he confirms.
I stand up, then, the legs of my chair screeching across the wooden floor. I don’t want to hear any more.
‘I know you’re upset but Alice, please—’ he’s up too, moving around the table towards me but I hold my hands up and step away from him.
‘I just need some space to think about this. It’s a lot to take on board. I think you should go.’
‘Of course. I’m sorry, again. I … I really like you, Alice.’
I smile tightly as I usher him to the front door, my head spinning and feeling more confused than ever.
The next morning I hear a knock on my bedroom door, followed by a stage cough.
‘Don’t mind me!’ Natalie calls through. ‘I don’t want to interrupt any shagging. Just to say I’m off to grab some breakfast from Forge Bakehouse, text me if you guys want me to bring you some back!’
‘You can come in, I’m alone,’ I shout, chucking on some joggers and opening the door wide.
‘No Zach?’ She asks, peeking into my bedroom. ‘I thought he was staying. But from the look on your face, last night didn’t go great?’
‘No it did not,’ I say. ‘Give me five minutes to brush my teeth and I’ll come with?’
Baggy joggers, flip flops and a gardening T-shirt isn’t my best look ever, but today already feels like a CBA kind of day and I’m just grateful to get outside with Nat. I’ve filled her in on everything Zach told me on our way to the bakery and now we’re feasting our eyes on breakfast potentials. I order a cardamom snurr and a cappuccino to go, throwing in a custard tart at the last minute for good measure.
We’re waiting in line for our hot drinks when my phone buzzes with a message from Zach. The preview on my lock screen reads:
Alice, I just wanted to say that I know my last relationship was messy and I regret so many things about …
Nat’s reading over my shoulder. ‘Aren’t you going to open it up and read the rest?’
‘But then he’ll see that I’ve read it.’
‘So?’
‘I’m pissed off, Nat! I don’t even do relationships and right when I decide to give them a go, right when I find myself liking a guy, he ends up having a whole lot of history and bringing a load of drama to my life.’
‘So you’re just going to ignore him?’
‘Urgh,’ I say, in lieu of some actual words. I already know that I’m not going to ignore him even though I feel frustrated for finding myself in this situation. I open up WhatsApp and together we read the whole message.
Alice, I just wanted to say that I know my last relationship was messy and I regret so many things about it, but my main regret is that I feel like I’ve messed things up with you. I feel awful for letting it impact our Happy Hour date. The truth is, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I really, really hope I haven’t messed this up x
‘How do you feel?’ Nat asks.
‘Annoyed. I don’t love the fact that his last relationship endedhoursbefore we met. I’d say that’s a bit soon for him to be moving on, right?’
‘Sounds to me like Zach knew his last relationship wasn’t right and it had probably been over long before it ended. I think he’s painfully aware of how his past looks but it’s also made him want to tell you how strongly he feels for you.’
‘But I don’t want to be in a relationship with drama! I didn’t even want a relationship in the first place, remember? And then along came Zach with his intensely cool ways and talk of love and … And now Ilikehim and it turns out he liked someone else until right before we met? If he can move on that quickly, he could end up hurting me, right? I’m risk averse, Nat and this is suddenly very risky.’
Natalie hands me a coffee and steers me back onto the street.
‘Take a deep breath,’ she says. ‘It’s a lot to take on and now it’s your turn to have some time. But if you want my opinion, I’m impressed that he’s trying to be honest with you. That’s a good thing, no?’
I huff.
