‘I might have missed you but only the tiniest bit so don’t let that head get too big.’ It’s hard to believe that this awesome woman actually likes my company and I use retying my shoelaces as an excuse to let her sentence sit for a while.
‘You ready? It’s the perfect day for a nice long run,’ I eventually say.
‘When you say nice and long you mean …’
‘Maybe a 10k?’
Alice’s eyes widen in horror. She motions towards her lilac lycra and bright white trainers, her ankles edged with pink running socks. ‘Let me break this down for you,’ she says as I swallow hard, trying not to get distracted by how good she looks. ‘I am not a runner. This is the only sportswear I own and I put it on to do yoga on YouTube with Natalie. And when I say do, I meanwatch. We’ll roll out our yoga mats and sometimes we’ll try a bit of the breathing but mostly we just sit and eat snacks before chanting “ohm” at the end.’
I laugh. ‘I didn’t realise I was dating a fitness-phobe.’
‘I prefer the term fitness-averse,’ she giggles. ‘I’ll do a bit every now and then but to be honest, I’m on my feet all day at the shop as it is. You, on the other hand, are apparently the kind of man who talks about running in terms of distance which is alarming.’
‘Not alarming,’ I try to put her at ease. ‘Running’s a massive endorphin boost and a nice way to switch off from stuff, but don’t panic because there could be cake at the end of it. I’m combining a jog with junk food for our J date.’
‘Oh now you’re talking,’ grins Alice. ‘You know me so well.’
Five minutes in and Alice is already asking if we’ve hit 10k so I suggest we reset our goals and go for five instead.
‘No way. Nuh uh. I am no quitter. You said ten and I will give you ten,’ she puffs. ‘How long does one of those usually take when you’re running by yourself?’
‘Just under an hour,’ I reply as we jog along the river in Millhouses Park.
‘Ooh, is that a pedalo?’ Alice asks, distracted by a swan-shaped pedal boat floating across the boating lake. ‘We could do that instead? Look, those guys have got an ice cream on theirs.’
‘I’m afraid neither pedalo nor ice cream begin with a J.’
‘Hang on, rewind. Did you just say a 10k takes you an hour? OF RUNNING? Are you kidding me Zach?’
I shake my head.
‘Fine, I can totally run for an hour. No probs.’
As we run along I realise that Alice is not only competitive but also incredibly stubborn. I set a slow pace at first, not wanting her to get too tired too soon and thinking that we might jack it in after half an hour or so, anyway. Alice has other plans. She’s taking great pride in racing past me as we jog through Ecclesall Woods and while running behind Alice in her lilac leggings has its obvious perks, I don’t particularly enjoy being elbowed out of the way when we come to a narrow bit so she can go first.
‘You’re kind of a rude runner.’
‘I like to win,’ she pants. ‘Surely we’re nearly there now?’
‘About half way through,’ I say, listening to her groan. ‘Just think of the end game. I’m ordering burgers on Deliveroo.’
She shoots me a look, her cheeks pink with the effort. ‘Talk dirty to me,’ she says between exhales.
‘Beef patty covered in melted cheese.’
‘More.’
‘Grilled bacon on top.’
‘Keep it coming.’
‘Brioche bun. Crinkle cut fries. A cool beer on the side.’
‘Yes. YES. YEEEEEEEES,’ she calls out and I feel like I’m watching Meg Ryan at the diner inWhen Harry Met Sally.
A dog walker overhears and looks flustered as they walk by and I laugh to myself, even more spurred on to catch up now.
‘I can do this, Zach!’ And off she goes again, jogging past brambles, jumping over fallen trees and at one point actually turning back to me and clapping, as if she was the seasoned runner and I was the newbie. The more time I spend with Alice, the more I realise that she never fails to surprise me.
