I’d learned in the past couple of days that what I felt for Lina was a chaotic disaster. “Love isn’t a word to describe how I feel about Lina.”
“I meant the doctor.”
I opened my mouth to say no, but the word froze on my tongue. If I could deny it, my body wouldn’t. All the time Nicky was naked in front of me, I was thinking about Ravenna’s body. All the time the voices were scratching my brain bloody, urging me to violate Nicky for revenge, I had one thought that was booming over them all. How Ravenna would be proud of me if I could smother the raging compulsions, how much it’d make her happy if I didn’t get obsessed with Nicky as she said I’d need to, how hot our love making would be when she realized I hadn’t touched—didn’t want to touch—another woman while she was away. For her. Because of her.
My hand itched for my jeans where a physical piece of our time together lay safe and hidden. Time I had no idea if we could relive.
“Then you should run.” Resolve laced Nicky’s voice. “When they ask me what you’ve done to me, I won’t tell them. Let them imagine the worst. Let them deal with the shame. And you go get Ravenna and disappear. Live.”
“I wish it were that easy.” I couldn’t truly be with Ravenna if I didn’t deal with all my past issues. I couldn’t protect her either if the people who wanted me dead were alive.
“It is. Revenge is sweet but only if you live to remember it. Otherwise, it’s not worth the loss.”
“Nicky—”
“Dom is alive.”
I scoffed.
“Did you hear me? Dom didn’t die. He was the one calling the burner last night. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was looking out for myself. I didn’t know you weren’t going to hurt me. But if it’s any consolation, I made sure he didn’t know where we were last night so he wouldn’t hurt the doctor whom he must have known she helped us when I answered her burner. I only told him about Palermo, wherehewas supposed to take you,” she confessed in panic. “Enzio isn’t coming with Lina, Leo. It’s Dom that’s coming here to kill you. Very fucking soon.”
Like I didn’t know that? She’d been talking about him in present tense since last night without realizing it, and that moment when she offered me herself gave it all away. She must have thought her husband knowing for sure I was inside her would make him let her go.The only way she can save herself from him. Because after everything that had been said and done, she still couldn’t bring herself to leave him on her own.
Because she still loved him.
I felt sorry for her. She deserved better.But the heart wants what it wants. You can never control it. I of all people know how it feels.“Should I act surprised to make you feel better?”
“You knew?”
“And I can’t wait to see him down on his knees, rubbing his nose in the mud, kissing my feet to tell him where you are.”
CHAPTER 27
Leo
Freedom.
A luxury I didn’t appreciate enough a year ago. One I’d given up on having back that even now, with twinkling stars and moonlight surrounding me instead of no bars and infinite darkness, with the fresh wind filling my nostrils instead of my own piss and shit, I wasn’t doing anything to regain it. My mind was fucked enough to believe death was my only freedom left, and fuck me,thatI was sparing nothing to achieve.
Pissing all over the Lanzas and the Bellomos would surely put a bullet in my head. Fuck, if it wasn’t worth it. I’d happily give my life, knowing I ruined theirs forever.
Except…
A slow sigh seeped out of me as I closed my eyes, tilting my head back, resting under the boat tent a few miles from the island. The face that had managed to put a smile on my face at my darkest hours appeared behind my eyelids. I brought out Ravenna’s panties and smelled them. The scent of her arousal mingled with the blowing wind, giving me a new meaning of what freedom meant to be. Of what was worth seeking another chance at living.
But how could I start a new life when my old one was wrapped around me like a thick snake, paralyzing, threatening to bite and poison me and everyone around with its venom at any second? How could I protect the woman that said she loved my darkness before my light when I’d failed to protect anyone I’d ever loved?
I groaned at the pain of loss and hope. Fucking treacherous hope. I couldn’t let it mess with my mind now.
The burner rang, saving me. I answered.
“I’m gonna hang you like a fucking road kill and flay your skin alive.” The filthy hiss poisoned the blood in my veins and then simmered it. I didn’t think just hearing someone’s voice could make me want to commit murder until I heard Domenico Lanza’s. “Where the fuck is my wife?”
“The wife that almost killed you? Your beautiful wife I’ve been spending every single minute of the day and the night with…mmm…for…how long now?”
He swore infinitely, his wrath and helplessness music to my ears. “Where the fuck are you keeping her, you motherfucker?”
“I take it you searched the island and couldn’t find her?”
