I allowed myself to breathe. “He’s…the way he’s always been. Nothing I can’t handle.” I hoped.
“Okay. I just want you to know that if anything happens from him or anyone, you can tell me. Anything at all.”
If only…
“Even if it’s me.” He touched my face ever so gently, his lips pursed. “Are you still mad at me? Because if you are, I’ll fix it. I know I’m no angel, but I’ll always fucking fix it. You just have to tell me. Always be honest with me.”
Here’s your fucking chance to be a decent person and do right by this man you obviously don’t deserve. Take it.
“I…I…” My throat was constricted with shame.
“You’re what, baby girl? Something is troubling you, and I can see it. Just say it. Whatever it is.”
How? How could I tell my overtly jealous boyfriend with a very bad temper that I used to be his son’s forbidden lover, I fucked him when he was seventeen, and he’d just come on me in a dressing room?
“Say it, Jo. What’s going on?”
“I…I just didn’t like what you did with the principal today.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say that wasn’t a lie. “Coercion is a form of bullying, and for a teacher, it’s a big deal. We fight this daily. It was hard to be on the other side.”Because your moral compass is pointing fucking North, Miss Meneceo? Hello, you just came all over the mouth of your boyfriend’s son.
Disappointment dulled his face. I didn’t know if he was disappointed I wasn’t as dark as he’d hoped or disappointed I wasn’t telling him the truth about what was really troubling me.
Either way, I didn’t want to know. I grabbed some of the shopping bags and headed for the bathroom. “I’ll hit the shower.”
I banged the back of my head against the wall tiles as I washed the evidence of my betrayal off my body and both pairs of panties.As if that will make you clean, like your shameless sins never happened.My eyes squeezed shut as I filled my lungs with air. “O, that way madness lies; let me shun that; No more of that.” I reminded myself through Shakespeare that I couldn’t dwell on my indiscretions. It’d only drive me mad. Guilt was rooted in the actions of the past, perpetuated in the lack of action in the present. I couldn’t change what happened, but I could stop it from happening again.
I hoped the things I told Tirone downstairs would make him understand and persuade him to leave me alone. Today proved, the hard way, I wasn’t strong enough to resist on my own.
I hung the panties to dry, wrapped a towel around my body and headed out of the bathroom. I stifled a yelp as Laius was standing right outside, leaning against the doorframe, his stare dark. “Why are you standing like this? You startled me.”
He peered at the wet underwear. “What’s this?”
My heart skipped a beat. “What does it look like?”
“Why did you just hand wash two pairs of underwear?”
My lashes fluttered. “The black ones are too delicate for the machine.”
“And the red ones? Were you wearing two panties today?” he taunted.
“No,” I sighed. “The red ones are new.”
He stared at me for a nerve-wracking moment. “You wash brand new panties?”
I gulped, sweating all over again. “Of course. Do you not wash your new underwear before you use it?”
“Why the fuck would I do that?”
“In case someone else tried it on.”
“The kind I wear comes in a closed box.”
I chuckled nervously. “I see.”
He eyed the red panties again, and guilt almost swallowed my consciousness. I should just confess and get it over with. “They’re hot,” he said. “You got them for me?”
Not anymore. “I know you prefer pink, but I thought you might like them. Red is my favorite color.”
“Good to know. I can’t wait to see you in them.”
