Now, hearing it again from this monster, my pulse no longer races at the possessive obsession dressed as love, the kind I’ve learned to crave in the darkest of my fantasies.
Because those words… Goddamn you words… They’re nothing but a two-player game of survival, where one must kill the other to win.
CHAPTER 25
Reagan
“Shane, I’m scared. I don’t know what to do.” I stand in the dark, in the woods behind the clubhouse, my arms around myself.
His expression is quiet and cold as this night. I’m terrified. The way his jaw tightens, the way his hand trembles just once before he reaches for mine… He’s already somewhere else, already leaving me in his mind.
This, Shane leaving me, is my worst nightmare, not people knowing about us. It was his only condition. No one can know about us. But after what has happened, people will know. It’s inevitable.
“Please don’t leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Shane.”
“What’s gonna happen to me, Reagan? If the word gets out, I’m fucked. I can’t protect you from jail, ya know?”
“I don’t want you to go to jail, and not just because I need your protection. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I love you.”
His eyes flicker, like he’s searching for the right mask to wear. “Love ya, too.”
“Listen, we can still go away, together. You have a lot of connections. The club has people who can help with, you know, new credentials. We change our names, my age, and we go somewhere no one knows who we are.”
He rolls his eyes. “I ain’t leaving. We talked about this shit.”
“That was before. It’s different now.”
“You don’t fucking understand.”
“If this is about money, I can get a job. I’ve saved some good money already from tutoring and from the writing contests I win. I can keep doing that, and you can run a few more, you know, errands at the club to get enough to get us started in a new town away from here.”
“And do fucking what? The MC is the only thing I know.”
“You are a good mechanic. You can work in a garage or open your own. Or you can finish high school. I can help you with that. Then you can get a good job anywhere. The sky is the limit.”
“Sky’s the limit,” he scoffs. “Look at me, Reagan. I’m a motherfucking biker. Riding is my life. I ain’t cut out for wearing ties and selling photocopiers to get you your white picket fence and two dogs.”
“All I want is to be with you, Shane. I want nothing else. The only way to do this is by getting out of here while we still can.” I don’t understand why he’s being so stubborn. “I’m not dumb. We both know if we stay here, we’re not gonna be together anymore.” I hiccup through the tears I’ve been stifling. “I can’t… I beg you. I’m so scared.”
“Hey.” He holds me tight. Then it comes: the soft smile, the one that always makes me believe him. The one that makes everything feel safe again. “You don’t need to be afraid, baby girl. I’ve got ya.”
I want to believe him. I want to fall into that lie and let it hold me. But something inside me knows. The way his eyes don’t shine, the way his thumb stops moving against my skin, doesn’t promise forever anymore.
“What are we gonna do?” I whisper.
“I’ll fix it, baby. Don’t worry about a thing. I promise we’ll always be together no matter what.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Pinky promise. You don’t know how much I love ya.”
“I love you more, Shane. You don’t know how happy I am now.”
“Me too, baby. Me too.”
“But what do you mean you’ll fix it? It’s not one of your bike engines.”
“You just gotta trust me on this one.”
