His mother and brother were brought into the camp along with Vallie, and I didn’t even think about them until now. I was about to tell Tezya I was going to visit them, but he beat me to it, already knowing what I wanted.Sie’s mother didn’t make it,he said into my mind.He asked for space.
What? How?
She died during the rescue. Only Greyland came back from Lux.Tezya’s voice was hard, even in my head.
I nodded, sucking in my breath, not wanting to ask any more right now. Greyland was his half brother, and I didn’t think Tezya or Sie were ready to acknowledge that or what it meant.
How do you know he needs space?I asked instead. Sie didn’t have many friends here, and I knew Peter was with Vallie right now.
Because I visited him earlier.Tezya swallowed.I needed to apologize.
How did he take it?I asked slowly. I knew it wasn’t Tezya’s fault, but I also knew Tezya wouldn’t see it that way. He left Sie and I behind.
As good as he could.
Even though we got everything we wanted, even though Tezya freed all those Advenians, taking away the King’s access to powers, and we saved Vallie, it still felt like we lost, like too much was taken from us in the process.
I held back my tears, terrified for what it meant in the future. Who else would we lose if this war barely began? Tezya grabbed my hand and started leading me toward his tent.
And as soon as he closed the tent flaps—as soon as we were alone—I fell onto the ground and shattered.
FIFTY-ONE
SIE
Another week had passedbefore I finally let myself believe Greyland was going to be okay—okay was an exaggeration. He was never going to be the same again. When the swelling of his left eye went down, and I was finally able to look at the damage, I realized he fucking lost it.
But when I tried to talk to him about it, he shut me down. He wasn’t surprised, which meant the bastards fucking ripped it out of him while he was awake.
I wanted to kill them all. I wanted to rip out every last Luxian soldier’s eyes, only to shove them back in the socket so I could do it again.
But Grey was going to live. It was the only thing I could thank Pylemo for right now.
He was now able to maintain consciousness and could stand at the side of his cot for ten minutes at a time. It was an improvement. Two days ago, all he could manage was to sit propped up against the headboard.
I thought seeing Lilia would change things for him. He was so happy when I told him we got her out of the cabin. I wanted to bottle his expression the moment he found out—relief andsomething else I couldn’t figure out came over him. It was the only time I’d seen him slightly happy since we got him out. But as soon as she stepped into the healer’s tent he was in, it was washed off his face.
The first ten minutes, all he could do was stare at her, and after the initial shock of seeing her, he went right back to ignoring her like he used to whenever our mothers forced us all together.
It was strange.
Lilia and Greyland were both feigning that they were okay as Peter and I spent the next couple of days by their sides. We didn’t know what to say or do to comfort them. We were all orphans now. They only had us to take care of them, and we were two fuck ups who didn’t know how to speak to them about grief or even acknowledge our own.
By the third day we brought Lilia into the tent, she was fidgeting and decided she wanted to learn mortal healing and help out.
Greyland’s face went stone cold, and as soon as she left, he turned to me. “Don’t let her be assigned to me.”
I grinned down at him, rustled his black hair and left without giving him my answer. I overheard a healer saying they were going to discharge him by the afternoon, but I decided to not tell him that.
At least it’d be a distraction from what really haunted him for a little while.
It was dark,hours before dawn, when I was dragged out of my communal bed by Peter.Bed.We went from sharing a tent together to now having to sleep in the same bed. It wasn’t nearly large enough for the two of us, and he somehow always gravitated toward cuddling me by the morning.
We were crammed into a tent with Tennebrisians and Luxians since Peter gave up our used-to-be-private-two-bed-tent for Vallie. I didn’t blame him, but now I was regretting my friendship with him as he forced me to go to the training rings in the middle of the night.
It wasn’t like I was sleeping anyway. I hadn’t been able to since Greyland came back… I just couldn’t sleep. Even after my brother was discharged and was starting to act like his old self again, I could barely relax.
I glanced over at Greyland before I followed Peter out, careful not to wake the six other people in here with us. Lilia was also in our tent, but she slept on the complete opposite side from us and as far away from Greyland and I as she could get.
