“Did you ever stop and think that maybe that would have been a mercy? You of all people should have known what it was like for me. You were there.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Being locked up, chained in the dungeons with nothing butdarkness. It felt like Kole was drowning me over and over again. I couldn’t escape it. I couldn’t breathe. And every time the doors opened, I prayed I’d see you. I prayed you’d get me out of there. But then you shipped me off to the person you warned me to stay away from at our wedding.” I paused to calm my racing heart. I really did not want to have this conversation right now, but now that I started, I couldn’t stop. I was word vomiting without wanting to, and the months of pent-up anger were pouring out of me. “I’m just not over it yet, Sie.”
“So that’s it? You’re done being my wife?”
“I was never really your wife.”
He flinched again before he cooled his expression. “You were to me,” he whispered.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t know how to.
“We’re bonded, Scotlind. How do you explain that?”
I shook my head. “We aren’t. I have enhancement. That’s what you were feeling whenever I wasn’t wearing the Alluse necklace.”
“You’re wrong. I felt it. I felt the bond—”
“No, you didn’t.”
He let out a frustrated sigh, running a gloved hand through his hair. “That’s just whathewants you to think.”
I shook my head, agitated that he thought I was so easily brainwashed by Tezya. “No—I’mtelling you what you felt wasn’t the bond. Not anyone else.”
“Who told you about enhancement, Scotlind? He just wants you to think it was nothing—”
“I know because I know what the bond really feels like,” I snapped.
He stopped in his tracks, glancing up at Tezya, before looking back at me. “You fucked him, didn’t you?”
Tezya stopped ahead of us. I could just barely make out his fingers curling at his sides. I was immediately aware of how no one else was talking. How he shouted the last statement, and itseemed to echo off the mountain. Not that it mattered, Tezya had heightened senses, and he most likely heard every single word that was said.
“Will you two shut up?” Dovelyn snapped. “I’ll kill you myself if we get caught because of this stupid fight.”
Sie didn’t wait for my reply as he stormed off ahead of me.
SEVENTEEN
TEZYA
The restof the trek to the grave was just as abhorrent as the first half. Everyone was eerily quiet after Rumor’s and Sie’s outburst. I had to fight the urge to punch him myself. The tension between the two of them was palpable and only growing, but it wasn’t fair for me to intervene. She deserved space to work out her feelings, and I had to suck it up, no matter how badly I hated it.
When we first rescued Sie, I was terrified she would go running back to him, and selfishly, I was elated when she didn’t. Remembering how I found her in the dungeons, I could see why she held onto some resentment. Her back was a thick mangle of scars that distorted her markings. Brock tried to heal them back at the castle, but he said the injuries weren’t all fresh. I thought of her tallies on her forearm and hated myself for not realizing what was happening sooner. She was tortured for twenty-seven days within my reach, and I had no idea. She was on the brink of death when I found her, and I knew firsthand those feelings never dissipated, that they hurt worse than any physical scar left on the skin.
I could understand Sie’s frustrations, although it didn’twarrant him acting like a total dick. He did what he thought was right, and as a result, he lost the girl he loved. I would be just as bitter and pissed off if I lost her too.
I scoffed. Ihadlost her. I barely had her to begin with, and I already lost what little I had of her. I was delusional if I thought any differently. She’d barely spoken to me since she found out I’d been lying to her.
But I kept catching her staring at me when she thought I wasn’t looking. I could hear the slight hitch of her breath whenever I came close. I prayed to Pylemo every damn second of every day that I could find a way to regain her trust.
I wanted to tell Scottie everything back in Lux, but after the King tortured me, I knew I couldn’t. He was keeping her close on purpose, and all I kept thinking about was how I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if our situations were reversed. If he ever brought her into that room instead of me…
I couldn’t risk it with the compulsion user still there. I didn’t doubt the King would use Kole again to go into her mind, and I’d be damned if I gave him any reason to hurt her.
I swallowed, trying to push it from my mind.
The limp in my leg was almost gone, thanks to the Luxian healers at the camp, but it would leave another scar. The King picked his punishment well, targeting my leg would have left me weak for months if I was still back in Lux. I was never allowed to see a healer.
