“Until what blows over?” I asked.
His muscles stiffened almost imperceptibly. “Nothing.” He was staring at the ocean, looking out across the horizon.
“Is Elion going to know you’re involved?”
He didn’t answer.
“Hael.” He turned to look at me now. “Will Elion know I’m gone because of you?”
“Probably.”
My stomach gutted. I hadn’t thought about the repercussions. I only knew that Dahes wanted me to go. “What did you do by bringing me here?”
“Nothing that isn’t worth it.”
“But why—why did you bring me here?” I swallowed, a lump forming in my throat. “Why are you breaking his rules for me?”
“You’ll be safe here.” He started to walk away, toward his dragon waiting down the beach. Once again, avoiding my question.
“You’re leaving?” I asked, not really sure why it shocked me. Of course he had to leave. He was the Drakin Leader. He literally told me that he couldn’t stay before we even left. I had no idea why my brain kept trying to convince myself he’d change his mind.
But Ineededhim to stay, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was driving him away, like he was trying to avoid something. Or me…
He turned to look at me. There was something written on his face, but I couldn’t make it out. “Yes.”
“Don’t,” I begged, surprising myself. I didn’t do this. I didn’t beg, not after I begged seven years ago… “Stay. Please.”
His gaze was so piercing that I thought he might actually cave for a moment.
“I can’t. I have to go.” Disappointment coursed through me and I wasn’t entirely sure why. “But I’ll come back.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Me
MAGNOLIA
Iwatched the two suns set over the horizon on the beach, and I stayed there well into the night.
It was nice. The sand was tan, soft to the touch, and warm, not scalding like the Black Sands. A slight chill ran over the shoreline as the six moons replaced the suns, but it wasn’t enough to make me cold.
I told myself I was only staying up to enjoy the rhythmic lap of waves. I kept anticipating Dahes entering my mind tonight to see where Hael had brought me. But the longer I sat on the beach, the less I felt his looming presence.
I hadn’t realized I was holding onto hope, praying to the Suns that I’d get another night. I told myself it was only because I liked the beach here, that I found it peaceful. But I knew what I was avoiding, what I wasn’t admitting even to myself—I wanted to see Hael again.
I tried not to think about it too long because I couldn’t fully explain why. Somewhere down the line, he shifted in my mind. I no longer viewed him as a merciless drakin who carried out Elion’s orders, but I was starting to see glimpses of the real him.
It terrified me—how strongly I was feeling.
Was it just because I was missing human connection so badly that I would have clung to the first person who was remotely nice to me?
But Hael wasn’t just being nice. He was being insane, doing things for me I couldn’t understand why.
Why didn’t he let me burn that first night of the Vargothi? Why did he take me into MonClem if he knew he was going to get punished for it? Why did he willingly go through days of physical torture instead of just sleeping with me when we were drugged with Ahthimil? Why did he put a shield over me instead of himself when Elion used his lightning?
And now he brought me here, knowing he could get in trouble for it.
I hated that I kept thinking about him, that my mind could no longer turn him off.
