I flew to Ryaranthia after I brought Nollie into MonClem, after Aura let her on her back. They had the world’s biggest library there, and being in Third Province, Elion didn’t visit enough to restrict the texts.
I still had to use my invisibility, still had to break into the section that wasn’t open to the public. It took hours before I found a single mention of Eclipsis.
Just one page, half torn. But it was enough for me to realize that the mating bond was supposed to be a blessing from all the Goddesses and Gods. It was the only time the Suns and Moons came together in unison.
And the last documented case was before theWar of Two Kings.
And the part of the page that was ripped, the tiny glimpse I saw before the paper ended... it documented how to seal the bond.
“I should go,” I said, forcing myself to stand.
I didn’t trust myself enough to not want to finalize it.
This was dangerous.
I brought Nollie here to keep her safe, and if I forced a bond on her that she knew nothing about, it would only make her more of a target.
She called after me, but I kept walking and didn’t stop.
Not that it mattered. I knew I’d be back, knew I was too fucking weak, because the second I stepped out of the cabin, that string connecting us tugged tighter and tighter, wrapping around my lungs until I couldn’t breathe.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Control
MAGNOLIA
Aweek had passed, and I hated how comfortable I was. How happy. I knew it wouldn’t last. I was in a bubble, slowly expanding, threatening to combust at any minute.
After Hael told me I was his weakness, I swore Dahes was going to rip into my mind and drag me back. I was terrified, anxiously building up my walls, trying to block my thoughts.
But he didn’t come, not yet anyway, and I thanked the two Suns every morning I woke up and got to stay here like it was a direct blessing from Cupio and Nessium.
The cabin was a fake construct of peace. It didn’t really exist. But for the small amount of time I had here, I was happy to pretend.
Hael came back to the cabin every night, and I found myself waiting for the suns to set so I could see him. The moment he left, a piece of me felt empty. I hated it, hated myself for opening up again when I knew it was only going to backfire, but I couldn’t stop it.
I kept telling myself it was only because I was getting to know him better for my hunt, but it was a lie. I had no idea what I was going to tell Dahes because I realized after the third night, I didn’t want to hurt him.
I jumped at the sound of the door opening, uncharacteristically giddy, but I froze the moment I saw him.
My own face drained of blood as I realized he was drenched in it.
“Did Elion hurt you again?”
He didn’t say anything. Just unstrapped his sword, then methodically went to work as he discarded every weapon he wore. He removed a dagger last, but instead of throwing it on top of his other weapons, he placed it on the table.
“Hael.” His eyes finally snapped to mine. “Are you hurt?”
He shook his head.
Relief fluttered through me, but I ignored it. Clearly he was, even if it wasn’t physical, but if it wasn’t his blood on him, whose was it?
“What happened?”
“Drakin duties.” It was all he said.
He walked past me without another word and went into the kitchen. I watched his back as he silently grabbed a bottle of mead from the cabinet, but he didn’t take a glass. Instead, he walked back outside with the entire bottle.
