“That’swhyI want to. I want to take control back,” I swallowed. Any alcohol I consumed was fading fast as sobriety shot through me. “I want to do this. With you. Only with you. Please?—”
His gaze was locked onto mine, like he was seeing everything without me uttering a single word.
“Have you ever had sex before, Nollie?”
I shook my head. “On Moriann, someone tried to,” I admitted, my voice soft, but Hael was so silent, so still, that I knew he heard me. I never told anyone this before. I never even spoke it out loud to myself, barely tried to think about it. “He was about to. He had me pinned, he ripped my dress…” I took a shaky breath, trying not to cry as I forced this out. “He was just about to when my Token manifested.”
A tear must have fallen over my cheek because he gently wiped it away with his thumb. “I’m so fucking sorry, Nollie.”
I leaned forward, our foreheads pressing into one another. “Me too,” I whispered, then said even softer. “I’ve been afraid of anyone touching me ever since. I thought…” I choked on the words. “I thought I’d never want it—until you.”
His breath was ragged at my words, his hold on me tightened, but he didn’t let go. I leaned into him, my forehead still pressed against his as I sat on his lap. Maybe I should have cared that neither one of us were dressed, that we were still wet from the ocean and soaking the cushions, but I didn’t. I closed my eyes, feeling his breath against my face and savoring it.
I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that, just breathing softly, before he spoke again.
“Is he dead?” His voice was so lethal, so feral that I pulled back, just enough to see his eyes holding the promise of vengeance. “The bastard that did that to you.Is. He. Dead?”
His question stumped me because technically Dahes was dead, but he didn’t pay for anything he did.
I shook my head.
“I will walk into Moriann right now and kill him so slowly that it’ll take months. Hell, I’ll drag him out here so you can do it yourself if you want to. Just tell me his name.”
I shook my head. “Someday I’d love nothing more than to do that. But right now, this is all I want.” I bucked my hips forward for emphasis, gasping as I felt myself slide across the length of him. “I was serious about wanting this, Hael. I didn’t think I’d ever want this, but I do—with you. These past seven years, I felt so numb.” I sucked in a breath. “It was like I was dead, barely living, and I’m just learning to breathe. I want to take it all back. I want to have a night where I don’t have to think about him and what he tried to do. I just want to…” I thought over the right word. “Feel,” I whispered, leaning forward. “Please. Let me feel.”
He stood, rising with me still on his lap. I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck as my legs tightened around him. He kissed me, walking us backwards, but I wasn’t paying attention to where. All I cared about was the way his mouth felt so right against mine.
I frowned when he set me down in front of the mirror, having no idea why we were in the bathroom.
“You are in control of your body, Nollie.”
“It’s Magnolia,” I blurted, and his eyes widened as he stared at me. “My full name. It’s Magnolia.”
He smiled, his dimple melting any hesitation I had.
“So fucking beautiful.” He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek, then my other.
“You’re in control of yourself, Magnolia. No one can take that away from you.” He dropped to his knees. “Even now.” He raised my leg, wrapping it around his shoulders, and I gasped, my body falling forward from the movement—closer to his face.
I could feel his breath hot against my thighs. Heat rose in me as I felt wetness drip down my leg, and I couldn’t convince myself it was from the ocean.
He dragged my hand down to his hair, weaving my fingers through the strands. “You have control.” For emphasis, he moved my wrist, hishead dragging with it, before he let go, leaving me holding his hair in a death grip. The strands were soft, almost slippery from the water.
He was so close…
“I want you to watch,” he said, staring up at me. “I want you to see how much power you have with your own body, how much you can enjoy it.” My gaze snapped to my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were wide, my cheeks flushed with heat. The ocean water was slowly drying across our bodies, but my hair was still drenched, droplets slowly cascading down my shoulders and onto his face.
“I need you to tell me,” he said, his tone so serious that it dragged my back off the wall as I leaned forward. “If you don’t like anything, tell me. If you want me to stop, I will, no questions asked.”
I nodded, barely breathing, and I knew my voice was gone. My stomach was hunched over his face, half my weight gone as it fell onto his shoulder.
“Good,” he droned, “because ever since I got a taste…” He pulled my body the rest of the way toward him. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about.” His hands trailed up my thighs as he spread my legs wider.
My lips parted as I stared down at him.
“We’re still taking it slow,” he smiled, eyeing my reaction. “We’re not having sex.” He grinned further as I frowned. “Nottonight,buttomorrow…” His words died on his tongue as his mouth wrapped around me.
And I might have died over and over again as his fingers pressed into me at the same time he sucked and licked and devoured every inch of me.
