“I’m sorry,” he said, his hands still cupping my face, “for everything you’ve been through, Nollie.” A muscle in his jaw flexed. “And I’m sorry about your lover.”
“Lover?” I reeled back.
“The guy you sold your soul for,” he said. “I’m sorry he’s dead.”
My lips parted, realizing how everything looked to Hael. I shook my head, trying and failing to get the words out. “Masin is…” I swallowed. Paused. Started again. “Masinwasmy little brother.”
A moment passed, and then?—
“Fuck.” His eyes searched mine. “I’m so fucking sorry, Nollie.”
I pushed past the tears, I wasn’t doing this here, not now. Later I would rip off this bandage. If I survived, I’d deal with it then.
“It’s okay,” I said, shaking my head, even though it wasn’t. None of this was okay.
Hael exhaled. “Was any of it real?” he whispered. His thumb momentarily stopped its movement along my cheek, but he didn’t pull away.
“What?” I breathed.
“Was it real, Nollie? Besides being forced to be in Viven. The cabin, was it?—”
“Yes,” I nodded, my breathing hitched. “I wanted to stay.” I stared into his eyes, needing him to see the truth. I felt myself spiraling again. “I didn’t want to. I?—”
“Then the rest doesn’t matter,” he cut me off. His thumb started rhythmically trailing down my cheek again as he pressed his forehead against mine. “It was real for me too,” he said quietly.
We stayed like that for longer than we should have. Hael kept running his fingers over my cheek and through my hair, and I hated how much comfort I found in his touch. Hated it because I knew Dahes was going to use it against me. This was just the start, whatever he’ddone to Hael this past week was nothing compared to what he would still do.
I didn’t want it to end, didn’t want to ever have to leave his arms…
“We need to go.” I slowly pulled back.
Hael nodded, gently setting my feet down on the ground. Green was illuminating the window, mixing with the blue as the Viridis moon was transitioning forward. Another hour had passed.
Hael stepped up the dais stairs toward Elion’s dead body. I watched the muscles in his back shift as he pulled the dagger out of the floor. He turned, taking the steps two at a time, as he wiped the blood off on the remaining frays of his leathers.
“Is there any chance you’ll let me kill the fucker?” Hael asked.
“How?” I gasped, my eyes widening. I wanted nothing more than for Dahes to die.
“With this,” he held out the dagger.
“The dragon-fire blade,” I breathed, remembering the triplets mentioning it.
Hael nodded. “I made it decades ago. There’s a shield around the blade, trapping the fire inside the metal. It doesn’t activate until it hits flesh.”
I was still staring at the dagger, my eyes snagging on a drop of blood Hael missed.
“Nollie,” he said, his voice lowering. “I want nothing more than to fucking tear him apart piece by piece. I want to shove this thing so far down his throat it splits him in two. But, if you want to, if you want to be the one to do it…”
His voice trailed off and I remembered his offer from the safe haven.
“I will walk into Moriann right now and kill him so slowly that it’ll take months. Hell, I’ll drag him out here so you can do it yourself if you want to.”
“I want to do it,” I said, surprising myself.
I wanted to do it for Masin. For myself.
He flipped the dagger in his hand, turning the handle to me. “Take this.” He extended it toward me. “But I’m coming with you.”
