She’s not your problem, Magnolia.
I kept walking north, trying to keep my pace slow enough to not draw attention. People didn’t walk with excitement in Moriann—it was all slow and starved and barely alive.
I prayed that there was someone half decent in the lingering crowd that would tell her. That they weren’t all there just to watch her die, but I knew better. I’d seen too many deaths before I got the courage to tell Vivenians about the berries.
Morianns didn’t care who died. It was one less mouth to compete with for stealing scraps of food.
I kept walking, trying to convince myself that she wouldn’t actually eat it, that she was only looking at the berries…
“Masin,” I called as I spotted familiar dark hair and blue eyes. I smiled as I closed the gap between us. My guilt slowly ebbing as soon as I saw him. He was by the first bridge, opting to pick pocket there while I usually went to the third.
“Nollie,” he looked me up and down, his eyes searching every inch of my body. He always did it every time we separated, not that we were ever apart long, but it was like he had to confirm for himself that I was fine.
Not that I blamed him. I did the same thing to him, especially around the bridges.
“Let’s go home,” I deadpanned, trying my best to keep my voice neutral. It was our code that we were successful. No one ate by the bridges, and if we ever managed to steal anything, we always brought it to the Adrian Shores before even daring to talk about it.
We technically didn’t have a home, both of us had only ever known life on the streets, but the Shores were the closest thing we’d ever get.
Masin smiled, dimples consuming his cheeks in a way that was mesmerizing, forcing me to stop in my tracks. I so rarely saw him smile anymore. I was pretty sure I smiled even less.
He was about to take a step toward me, when he faltered, losing his footing and almost tripping intothe river.
I sprinted toward him, cursing as I went, before grabbing onto his shoulder to steady him.
“Are you alright?” I asked, panic filling me. It had been almost a week since we last ate.
He nodded, but the movement was too slow, too stiff, and I knew his real answer. His eyes were rolling back in his head. He wouldn’t make it to the Shores?—
Wrapping my arm under his shoulder, I reached my other hand into my pocket, slowly ripping off a piece of moldy bread.
I looked around me twice, making sure no one was watching, before shoving the small piece into his mouth. Just enough to get him moving.
I sagged as he started chewing. His eyes slowly fluttered open again, and I was staring in the glacial blues. The green speck on his left iris, splattered like dotted ink, catching my attention as his gaze shifted over my face. He smiled, was about to say something, before he started choking.
Shit—
His back hunched over, my arm bending as it shot forward. Terror seized me as Masin started pounding against his chest, trying to clear his throat, but it was too late.
He didn’t even straighten his back before someone knocked me to the ground, my head dangerously close to the foamy current of the river.
I tried turning to see where Masin landed whencold metal dug into my neck, slicing my skin just enough to pool warmth to the area, red staining my only shirt.
“Hand over the food?—”
I wokeup screaming on my back, staring at the stone ceiling of my room while I waited for my breathing to slow. Even though I ate lastnight, it was never enough. The hunger in my reality mimicked and warped my dreams, making the vivid nightmare feel so real.
I hated it. It didn’t matter that seven years had passed, I wouldn’t stop reliving that night—the night I made my deal.
I was so good at making myself numb, so good at shutting off my emotions during the day, that they all seemed to slip out while I slept. It was the only time I couldn’t block out my thoughts, couldn’t stop my brain from replaying that night, and it always felt like an eternity before I could move again.
Breathe. One. Two. Three. Four. Exhale.
Slowly, I peeled myself out of my bed, my sheer nightgown sticking to the sweat coating my back. At least I woke up today before the worst of that memory sprang forward…
I carefully made my bed, walking around each side and tucking all the corners.
Once everything was pristine and all the wrinkles smoothed out, I walked under the open archway toward the clawed tub. I knelt, slowly filling it with the freezing water that was left in buckets by the floor. Stepping in, I let the numbness cool my skin as I worked to shut my brain off again.
