“Have you told him anything that might come to bite us in the ass?”
About his personal life?Plenty.About the case?
“No.”They hadn’t needed to revert to work talk when conversation had been so easy.How was anyone capable of faking that?
“That’s good.The way I see it, you have three options.Option one, you block his number, cut him out of your life, and pretend this never happened.”
Baz winced.He didn’t want to forget.He wanted it to be real.
“Option two, you go talk to him and hope he tells you the truth.”
But how could he tell what the truth was?What if the truth was as bad as Baz feared?What if Sami dropped the facade and laughed in his face and told him to get out of his life already, that he was glad Baz had caught on so he didn’t have to see him anymore?
“Or, option three, you could do what you should have done from the beginning: hit the breaks, be professional, settle the case, and then see where you stand.If he loses interest after the trial, you’ve got your answer.”
True.And risky.
What if what they had was real, but the case dragged on and Sami grew tired of waiting and moved on?Could it be, or was this just Baz making excuses to cling on to the hope this was all a misunderstanding, despite all evidence pointing to Sami not having been sincere?Yes.Yes, it was.
It would be the best for everyone if he just moved on, but after all they had shared… He squeezed his eyes shut and sniffled.
“Think about it.And don’t rush into anything.Give yourself some time to process.”
Baz nodded heavily.That sounded smart.
“How about we prep for the hearing?”Aya offered.“Once we’ve humiliated Ian and bled Captain Green dry, they’ll see that you are above their games.You’ll get your promotion, and it will be a lot easier to leave this behind.”
That was something the Baz from three months ago would have done.Things had been easier then, clearer.Perhaps it was time to revert to his old ways.
“Don’t worry.No one needs to know.If they try to use your affair against you, it will hurt them too.We’ll win the war.”
But Baz didn’t want to go to war against Sami.He wanted to be by his side so they could face the battle together.
That wasn’t an option, though, not anymore.Not if he couldn’t trust Sami to tell him the truth after showing him his most vulnerable sides.
Baz had to wake up.
Work was a chore.The words were nothing but a blurry haze escaping his comprehension.
Somehow, he managed to ignore his phone buzzing, the urge to check if Sami had messaged him, perhaps with a confession, an explanation, anything that could make this right.
In an act of pure masochism, his abstinence ended the second he got home.And of course:
Annoying Stalker
Wish I were in your bed right now… <3
Hows Eevee?
Could those be the words of someone who didn’t care?Or was Sami that dedicated to the act?He must have known Eevee would tell him the truth.She had clearly recognized him on Saturday.Was this his way of gauging whether Baz knew now?
Ugh.
Baz fell onto his bed, fully clothed, and pressed a pillow on to his face.This was why he didn’t do relationships or emotions or all the other crap.
He should tell Sami to leave him alone, just like Aya had suggested.But then it would be over, and the finality of that prospect threatened to tear his heart to pieces.
The groan that overpowered him came deep from his soul.He hugged the pillow against his aching chest, ignored the lingering scent of oakmoss that clung to the fabric.
