Who was he to say Sami didn’t have a perfectly reasonable explanation?And if not, if Sami did laugh in his face and revealed his true colors, the spite would fuel Baz.Either way, he would be free from the tormenting spiral.Going after Sami might be the best idea he’d had in months.
This time, Aya didn’t stop him.
Sami was washing his hands.Their eyes met in the mirror.Gone was the intoxicating energy that had enticed Baz the last time they had found themselves here—Sami’s cold gaze was an avalanche burying Baz under its icy weight.
“He’s alive,” Sami remarked, drying his hands with a paper towel.“Did your phone break that a guy can’t get a text back?”
“What game are you playing, Sami?”
Sami froze for the blink of an eye, undetectable for anyone who hadn’t spent hours worshipping his body.He crumpled the paper towel and tossed it into the trash.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Eevee told me you were kicked out of school.I know you’re not a lawyer.So, what are you?Why did you get close to me?”
“I never said I was a lawyer,” Sami said matter-of-factly, straightening his suit like he suddenly gave a damn that it was ill-fitting.
“You heavily implied it!You know that’s what I thought you were.”
“And your assumptions are my fault how?I did not act as a lawyer in any capacity.I work for Ian, personally.That’s it.”
“Oh, because that’s such a small difference!”
“Why are you mad?”Sami asked like the very notion was ridiculous.How could it be?Sami had just admitted he was only hired to do Ian’s bidding!
“You lied to me!”
Sami whipped around.“I have never lied to you!You just never asked.In fact, you made it pretty damn clear you don’t care to hear about my mistakes, so you don’t get to storm in here and confront me about how fucked up my life is, like that is somehow a personal offense to you!”
That—the simmering rage inside of Baz was squashed by the weight of Sami’s point.He couldn’t seriously think Baz didn’t care about him?
“I said that months ago.Things changed between us.”
Sami’s dismissive scoff was a whip to his heart.“Have they?‘Cause clearly, you still don’t trust me.”
“I did trust you!I trusted you with things I’ve never trusted anyone with.And then I find out that we’re not just two guys who happen to work the same case, because it’s not your case at all.So of course I’m left wondering, is this all part of Ian’s plan?Did he hire you to flirt with me and, what, manipulate me?”
Sami’s nostrils flared as he stomped closer.“I’m not a fucking prostitute, Baz!I might have sold my soul to the devil like you so love pointing out, but I still have some dignity.No matter what you think.”
“I don’t think that!”He didn’t know what to think, didn’t dare to dream that Sami might care, dreaded the chance that he might not.“I just… I want to understand.You knew Eevee would tell me the truth the moment you recognized her.So why the hell didn’t you tell me before she did if you have nothing to hide?”
Sami sniffed and shook his headno, hundreds of tiny movements.“We’re not gonna do this.You don’t get to confront me and demand answers from me whenever it suits you after ignoring me for days.”
“I didn’t plan this!I wanted to wait until after the hearing, but then I saw you, and…”I miss you.Baz swallowed against the racing heartbeat in his throat.He wiped the first traces of wetness from the corner of his eye.“And if this was just a game to you, then I need to know now, because it sure as hell is real to me.”
There.If Sami wanted to shatter his heart, this was his chance.Baz prayed he’d be quick about it so the numbness would set in before the hearing started.
Sami’s reddened eyes widened.His jaw went slack, only for a second before his hands met, palm to palm, against his lips.
“No.No, no, no—you’re supposed to hate me,” he muttered as if that had been a part of their agreement and he couldn’t believe Baz had violated it.
“If you wanted me to hate you, you shouldn’t have been there for me when I needed you!I—” Baz bit his lips together.He couldn’t say what he felt.Not now, not like this, when he still didn’t know what Sami wanted with him.
But Sami looked so vulnerable, so soft, so much likehisSami…
“I’m terrified,” Baz admitted.“I don’t do feelings, Sami.But you made me want to try, and I can’t stand the idea that this was all in my head.I know this is the worst timing, and I’m sorry.I shouldn’t have ignored you and I shouldn’t have sprung this on you right now, but I need to know if this means something to you, too.”
“Of course it does.”Sami’s voice was so faint, so quiet, Baz had to strain his ears to pick up the words.But when he did, the meaning shot through him like a bolt of lightning.Baz released a shaky breath.“But it’s not supposed to.”
