“I just got the happy news.”Collin grinned.Oh, sure.Let everyone take their shot!Baz must have punching bag written on his fucking forehead.
“Go away.”
Collin’s victorious grin faded to a frown.“Hey, I’m just teasing.You know that.It’s a win-win, isn’t it?You don’t have to deny your secret boyfriend anymore, and I get to work a cool case with Aya.”
A bullet between Baz’s eyes would have been kinder.
Sami had been right, one misstep would cost Baz everything.His job, the man he had fallen in love with against all reason.If only he hadn’t been so arrogant to think he was above mistakes, he might have been better prepared for the vultures sweeping in and tearing apart what was left of him.
Baz strained a cold smile.“I miss not knowing you.”
With that, he walked away.
Chapter twenty-seven
Bazshruggedoffhissuit jacket, dropped it on the living room floor, and fell face-first onto his so-beautiful-looking, fucking uncomfortable couch.He gathered a throw pillow under his face and released the loudest, most heartfelt groan-turned-scream of his life.
His phone taunted him with complete silence.At least there was one thing it was still good for.The tub of Peanut Butter and Cookies ice cream was at his doorstep in less than twenty minutes.He wanted to drown in the sugary sweetness, prayed it would freeze his brain beyond repair.
Bzz bzz.
Baz sat up with a gasp.Sami?
He scrambled to reach his phone on the coffee table, nearly fell off the couch—oh.Just an email.From the lab he had sent the Captain Green sample to.They couldn’t be serious.
The small, blue ring chasing its tail demanded patience.A document popped up, full of numbers, chemical formulas… There.Dangerously high levels of TCDD were found in the sample.Of coursehe got the smoking gun, the final piece of leverage to turn this ship around, hours too late, because why would anything ever work in his favor?
He forwarded the attachment to Aya.His mistakes shouldn’t cost her the win and deepen the stain on her impeccable reputation.Bad enough people knew she was Baz’s mentor.He had been kidding himself, thinking he could play in the same league as her.Hopefully, she could forgive him for embarrassing her, one day.
He dug his teaspoon in the half-empty tub and shoveled more regrets into himself until his brain ached from the cold.Pain was good.It was the right consequence for making everyone around him miserable.Sami.Aya.Eevee especially, with his stubborn hatred of their dad, with how he had leeched onto her light and made her life much more difficult.
She had just been an eighteen-year-old kid when they moved to the city, too, had barely found herself, and Baz had burdened her with the responsibility of caring for her teenage brother because he was scared to be left behind.She had always been there for him, and for what?So he’d get fired for not keeping it in his pants?How humiliating.
It was an unfortunate trait he had inherited from his father, hurting people.Using them.Except even Jack had managed to get his shit together.Would it take Baz fifteen years too?
Perhaps he was better off just staying away from everyone, locking himself up in his sad, bare apartment and finding a remote job that required no human interaction.Or he could buy some farmland in Wisconsin and shear sheep.They ought to be more forgiving of his inability to human correctly.
More buzzing on his thighs—Aya.If Baz were a stronger man, he would face her anger and vow to make it right, work thrice as hard to get back on track, but… what even was the point anymore?
He silenced the call, put his phone down screen first, and sank back into the hard pillow.All he could do was eat the sugary soup and numb his mind with sitcoms that used to be funny.
The flickering screen was the only light source in the living room, battling against the ever-darkening sky.He should have followed Sami’s lead and covered his walls with fairy lights.Better yet, he shouldn’t have alienated him in the first place.In another world, they’d be cuddling underneath hundreds of tiny lights right now.They’d tease and laugh with each other, and shake off a bad day.Yet another dream Baz had destroyed at the courthouse.
He missed Sami’s smile.The sparkle in his eyes.His softness.
He hugged a pillow against his aching chest and curled tighter into himself.It smelled too clean.He needed to track down that damned cologne to have something tangible to hold on to.
Knock knock.
“Baz?It’s me,” Aya said.
Groaning, Baz pressed the pillow on his face.He wasn’t ready to face her wrath just yet.
Metal scratched at his door.He sat up as Aya entered, balancing a small, pink box on her palm.That damned key.
“Oh, good.I was worried you’d drowned in self-pity by now.”
She hit the light switch.The brightness exploded like a bomb, violently illuminating Baz’s shame that was better left hidden in darkness.
