“Sucking up to people?Easy.”
“It is?”
“Yes!All you gotta do is nod along and laugh at their jokes and act like whatever success they had recently is the greatest achievement ever.People love talking about themselves.But this?This is barbaric!I-it is so loud and crowded and everyone is drunk, and… a-and…”
The onslaught of loud music had him spinning around.The couple disappeared back inside, thankfully closing the door behind them.The phone trembled in Baz’s hand.
“Hey, it’s okay.I get it.That can be overwhelming.”Sami’s gentle tone soothed his pounding heart.“Do you never go to parties or is this one especially awful?”
“The last one I went to voluntarily was the graduation party from law school, and I hated every second of it.”
“How come?”
“Aside from the horrible music, and the drunk and high idiots wreaking havoc?”Baz sighed.“There was this girl, Bernila.She tried to kiss me.And when I turned her down, she puked all over both of us.I drove her home after to make sure she was safe.My car smelled like vomit for a week.”
“Damn.That was nice of you.”
“The others didn’t see it that way.They thought I took her home to hook up, and since then, rumors about me seducing women left and right have been following me around.Women, Sami.”
As long as Collin was around to keep them alive, Baz would never live those accusations down.Not without coming out of the closet—and he wasn’t planning on doing that until he was on top of the food chain and above the DEI accusations.
“That’s how those started!I was wondering why people said you were straight.I thought it was good old heteronormativity, but wow.Look at you, being a good person.”
Baz huffed.“Regretting that, believe me.I mean, not getting her home, but going in the first place.”
“At the risk of stating the obvious, if you’re having a bad time, why don’t you just leave?”The words sounded too gentle to be accusing.
“I can’t.You know the kind of people who are made partner?The kind who go wild with the existing partners at ridiculous parties like this.If they don’t see me at Sullivan’s birthday, they won’t invite me to exclusive client events, which means they won’t think of me for the big cases, and they’ll promote their buddies over me.”
“You’re right, it’s much better they think of you as the guy who hides away at parties instead.”
Was that supposed to be helpful?
“Gee, thanks.I’m feeling much better already.”
“Hey, I’m just being honest.There are gaps in your master plan.”
“I know.I just…” Baz closed his eyes.“I’m not good at this.People.”
Let Sami laugh at his social incompetence.Everyone else had, too, at some point.
“I don’t know about that.You know, being fun at social engagements is no different than sucking up to someone professionally.People still love to talk about themselves, if you can stand being bored.Or find the other outsiders to hang out with, there’s always some.Or flirt with a few guys, that’s what I do.”
A sting pierced through Baz’s chest.“You do?”
Him not being enough shouldn’t be a surprise.They barely saw each other and Sami had made it clear that there were others.But picturing Sami flirting with someone else the way he did with Baz burned a hole in his stomach.
“I mean, not recently.I prefer my men one at a time.”
So the list of people he had to visit had been a joke?And Baz was his choice, out of the thousands of gay men in this city?That was more than a plaster; the burning pain evaporated into a warm fog, embracing Baz’s heart.
“Me too.”
“Good to know.”Sami’s tone was warm like a summer day.“Hey, listen to me.You’re gonna go back in there, and you’ll propose a round of shots.”
“I have to drive.”
“Fill yours with water, doesn’t matter.You just need to initiate it.Laugh at their stupid jokes, make a few of your own like I know you can, get another round of shots, and then—oh no!—you have a family emergency and gotta leave even though you were having the best of times.You were seen to be the life of the party, everyone knows Baz Hadley can have fun, and you’re home before midnight.”
