When it was time for a drink, I approached Ryder and Lena, who were laughing in the bar tent. “What’s so funny?” I asked.
Lena’s face froze, then melted when she realized it was me. “No, I was just saying, this is going so much better than the last time my family gathered for an engagement party.”
“Not even close,” Ryder said. “But then again, you and Spence aren’t narcissistic bigots, so that’s a plus.”
“You know,” Lena whispered, leaning in, “She made a new account not too long ago, and someone immediately commented ‘I NEED TO PEE’ on her page. She deleted the whole account.”
I laughed hard, remembering the first time I saw that meme. Rickie had reposted the video to her huge follower count, and it went viral. The next day, Bree posted a video playing the victim and doubled down on her hatred. I thought her trad brand might survive, especially if she leaned into the hate, but the internet's cruelty took over.
Someone made a duet video that turned her rant into a song, with the refrain “I need to PEE.” People copied, making their own, increasingly deranged versions. My favorite was our new friend, Caressa Mae, doing a drag performance in her honor. Two weeks after Miles left her at the altar, Bree deleted her entire digital presence.
“Good riddance to bad filth,” I said, still laughing.
Lena excused herself to welcome some guests who had just arrived, and Ryder went off to help his mom with something in the house. I joined Miles and his new girlfriend, Jade, in one of the other tents.
They were talking about moving in together, and I vouched for him being a good roommate.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Jade said with a laugh I found both endearing and infectious. “How long did Miles live with you guys?”
Jade was funny, kind, almost as tall as him, and so very worldly. She was born in Senegal to an American college professor and a Senegalese doctor, then spent her childhood between New York, Paris, Dakar, and Taipei. She spoke six languages, made art for fun, and didn’t have a single social media account.
“I never lived with them,” Miles said, rolling his eyes with a laugh.
Jade said, “You know what I mean.”
“I moved in with Ryder like a year and a half ago?” I said. “And you’ve been together almost a year, right?”
“Yup, next month.” Even her smile was infectious.
I smiled too and looked at my best friend. “So maybe six months then?”
Jade laughed and placed a hand on her boyfriend’s forearm. “Talk about crowding your style! How did you guys find time to go feral on each other?”
Two years ago, a few days after the wedding that wasn’t, Miles moved back in with his parents. Bree refused to leave his apartment, and with only one month left on the lease, it made sense. He went through a pretty rough patch, but spent most of his time with either Ryder or me or both of us. I moved in with Ry about half a year later. Once I did, it became kinda like a best friend bachelor pad for him. So much so that we referred to the second bedroom as Miles’s room. Ryder was gonna ask him to officially move in with us, but then he met Jade.
“I spent plenty of nights at home. Like, two or three a week,” Miles said.
After a while, we just saw him as a roommate and were thankful for thick walls and for the second room being clear on the other side of the apartment.
Jade laughed, moved her hand from his arm to the back of his head, and played with his hair. “Well, I hope you gave them time to go on dates and just be a couple. Like how my roommates do for us.”
“I did. Promise.”
That was what I liked most about Jade. She knew how to check Miles, who needed it from time to time, but was supportive of him. And I could tell she loved him just the way she looked at him. Not to mention, she always encouraged him to hang out with his family and friends and be himself. So much so that Miles took up pottery, something no one in his life knew was a secret desire of his.
They looked like they were about to make out, or more likely, snuggle into each other and let the world disappear around them. I was about to get up and let them do it when Jade excused herself to the bathroom.
“Aren’t you basically living with her already?” I asked.
“Yeah, I spend most nights there, but we were talking about getting our own place.”
“Nice.” I sipped my beer. “Are you thinking she’s the one?”
“Oh, she’s for sure the one, man. Like when you told me Ryder was it for you because you felt it so deep inside that your life felt empty without him? I just know. Never felt this way before.”
We were alone, or at least out of earshot. “I wasn’t gonna mention it, but I’m too freaking excited.” I looked around and lowered my voice. “I’ve been looking at rings. I’m gonna ask him. Not yet, but soon. I wanted to ask you to be my best man, and maybe help me plan the proposal.”
Miles’s face paled. I said, “What?” When he said nothing, I said, “You’re worrying me, man. What the fuck?”
