“This place got you missing them?”
He looked as if he didn’t understand. I said, “The club is called LIV.”
“Oh! Uh, yeah. I guess.” He chuckled. “Honestly, I’m paying half attention to everything going on. Just along for the ride to support Kilo.” His laugh was swallowed by the thudding bass being picked back up.
I suspected it when I met him, but was certain right then. Jason would rather be anywhere else but on this trip. More than anything, he wanted to be home with his baby and wife. I couldn’t blame him. The love for his young family bled from his eyes and crackled in his voice as if a single night more in their absence would kill him dead. He was a good guy, I decided.
“Yeah, tell me about it.” I rolled my eyes.
I could say things got quiet for a second between us, but they got louder. A large group of women to our right started screaming. At least it was positive, from the sounds of it.
Jason got my attention, looking like he had just remembered something. “You okay? After that shit with Miles?You two were pretty pissed. Thought you were gonna throw punches.”
My brow furrowed as my heart rate rose. I could’ve said that when my brother asked me to be his best man, I planned the entire trip we were on, only for him to take it back and ask Finn. But I didn’t. “Yeah, we’re good. Just brother bullshit.”
“I get it, man. But it’s the kid’s bachelor party. If he pisses you off like that again, just give me a look, and I’ll get him away from you.”
I blinked twice. That was one of the kindest things he could’ve said to me. “Thanks, Jason. That means a lot, actually.”
“No problem. I got siblings. I know how it goes. Almost broke my little brother’s nose at my bachelor party. Don’t want a repeat,” he said with a firm grip on my shoulder and a belly laugh I didn’t hear. “Besides, us old guys need to stick together. Can't let the young ones run us ragged.”
“You can fucking say that again.” I tapped my water bottle to his.
Was I old? Was he? He was twenty-eight, I thought. I was almost twenty-eight. That’s well before thirty and gay death. If I lost a bunch of muscle mass and shaved my chest, I could still be a twink.
“Alright, man,” he said. “I’m gonna go keep an eye on the kids. I think Tyler’s already black out.”
“Yeah, for real,” I said. “I’ll meet you out there.”
Jason slapped my shoulder, smiled, and walked into the thronging crowd. I turned around and ordered another shot, but made it a double.
???
I didn’t know where the guys had gone off to. We danced and drank and danced and drank until the world got mushy. The fogwas manna from heaven on my sweaty skin, the strobe, a siren call to dance. The very concept of time and place blurred until there was me, the beat, and the need for another beverage.
Another urge filled me. Even after some relief in the shower, the memory of Finn on the jet ski kept flooding back. Every time the lights would blink out, I’d see him, the nape of his neck, and the bundle of his shoulders. Smell the bay, and his sunscreen and shampoo in his wet hair. Feel him in my arms. And my hand.
I was horny. Drunk and horny. Hot, drunk, and horny. In a club full of people in the same situation. LIV isn’t a gay club, but even if it were in Florida, I didn’t get the vibe that the clientele was hateful. Which meant there was a non-zero possibility I could get laid.
I wasn’t looking forward to going back to the room with Finn. It was fucking awkward, and I still felt like shit. He may have kind of, sort of, absolved me of sin, but that didn’t amount to anything when just being in my presence looked painful for him. And it was for me.
But also, I hadn’t gotten any in a year. The last time I had sex was with a travel nurse right before my brother’s engagement party. Another one of his major life events I did all the work for. At least Miles and his…lovelybride thanked me for that one.
It was a fiasco. Not the party, the sex. Not thesexeither, that was great. So good that while I was inside him, I was ready to boyfriend that man. But once we were done, I found out he was in an open marriage, and then shortly after, he got reassigned. I was fuckingready. For. Some. Dick.
I didn’t remember meeting them. By the bar, maybe? Or waiting in line to take a piss? I wasn’t sure. When they invited me to their VIP booth on the third floor, I happily accepted. They were an eclectic group, all dressed… well, I wasn’t surprised halfof them were trust-fund babies, but all of them were art school graduates.
They were warm and welcoming and generous. And the guys were fucking HOT. Maybe it was my drunk, horny brain, but every single one of them could’ve gotten it. Actually, some could’ve given it, and I’dgladlytake it.
I knew a few of them had to be gay. Or bi. Or at least the kind of guys who’d enjoy a “same sex experience.” I flirted with all of them, just to cover my bases. Fuck it, the women too. That was the night, and the vibe, and if I ended up in a giant naked cuddle pile in one of their loft suites, I would count it as my own kind ofexperience.
Ronnie, or maybe it was Ricky, said. “That’s what I’m saying. Trust is its own kind of currency. It’s easy to spend, but difficult to earn.”
Ronnie, Ricky, or was it Chris? Was right. I said, “More than just trust, man. Respect is the same way. Loyalty, too. And just like, I dunno, not being a dick to the people who love you?”
“That’s so true,bro,” Rebekah, or maybeshewas Ronnie, said. I knew she was poking fun at me, but it didn’t feel mean-spirited, more like she was flirting back. “If you disrespect someone you’resupposedto be loyal to, that’s a relationship ended right there. Sorry.”
She was hot, wearing an early two-thousand throwback outfit. Tube top, short spiky pigtails, too loose rave pants, and slathered in body glitter. Her friend, whom I was starting to think was named Kris, short for Kristof, was also hot. Tall as fuck, and built, but not showing his muscles off. His face was broad and handsome, and his soft, almost curly brown hair covered the tips of his ears. I’d say he was more dressed like the nineties than the two-thousands, in a boxy greenish brown tee, and loose boot cut jeans.
