Lena rolled her eyes and snarled. “Whatever.” She looked at me. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.”
The retort died on her lips. Lena’s eyes narrowed, then loosened. “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Lena searched my face, bit her lip, then threw her arms around my neck. “Love you.”
I hugged her back, harder than I normally would’ve. I didn’t have to tell her something was wrong. Especially not in public, or in front of our parents. She just knew. And hugged me.
I fucking loved my fucking family, man. They didn’t know Bree kicked me out of Miles’s wedding party. I could’ve told them. I could have let it all out, caused a huge scene, ruined his wedding, and permanently marred our relationships with him and his future kids. But I didn’t. I kept my mouth shut. Easier that way.
When she let me go, my parents were staring at us, about to ask if everything was okay. My throat was tight, and before my eyes stung with unwanted heat, I looked away, through the kitchen and across the house to the front door. Finn walked in as I did. Like psychic radar, he caught my eye. His smile was radiant, and mine grew just as bright. It burned away much of the nasty, negative storm in my chest and head. Before we broke eye contact, I knew, justknew, that so long as he was there, it would be a fantastic night.
Chapter Sixteen
Ryder
It wasn’t difficult getting fifteen guys into rideshares and off to Johnny Pete’s. Not with both of us using two separate apps each. It just so happened that the last two needing a ride were Finn and me. Oops.
Finn held my hand in the backseat. The driver saw in the rearview mirror, but if he reacted, I didn’t see it. I was never the kind of guy into PDA, but thinking about how Finn was only out to me, and he was okay with it, made me squeeze his hand tight.
They were waiting for us before getting in line. It was busier than I thought it would be. I guess there were a lot of kids still home from college. Johnny Pete’s was legendary, and, honestly, a lot of fucking fun.
It was split into two: the outdoor and the inside. Outside hosted a giant, ancient merry-go-round surrounded by dozens of boardwalk-style games. Inside was a bar and a dance floor, with beer pong tables set up for college night. They also had a bunch of catering rooms in the back. I used to get so excited when a classmate had a birthday there. It never failed to bring happy memories whenever I saw the brick facade and glowing signage.
I found out why Bree was at my parents’ house. Other than filming herself and her friends, of course. Before we left, she told the guys in the party to be right as rain for the rehearsal and dinner the next day. But really, she needed them to know how important it was not to take any pictures or videos. Once we were below the giant neon Johnny Pete’s sign, I flung my arm around my brother’s neck and took a selfie with it and him, then another of me kissing his cheek. He smiled, a real big ass smile, too, probably happy I didn’t hate him. The photos already had ten likes before we paid the cover charge.
Having planned another event for a wedding I was no longer involved in was, well, shitty. I couldn’t even touch what Bree had said to me, or I risked a thermonuclear meltdown. Miles’s happiness was already toxic. He probably expected me to be sullen and shitty, like in Miami. That I wasn’t was surely a balm to his conscience.
I was party-mode Ryder. All smiles and fun. I didn’t even want to be nasty to my brother. It felt… just… the thought of him left a hollowness in my chest. And once I saw that, my stomach dropped. Because it meant something fundamental had changed between us. I had always assumed that once the wedding was over, things would smooth out. But what had happened, and the compounding insults and injuries, caused permanent damage to our relationship. I’d never look at him the same way, and a growing part of me didn’t want to look at him at all ever again.
The opposite happened when I thought about Finn. I guess it wasn’t the worst thing in the world to lose a brother and gain a boyfriend. And Finn was such a kind, sweet man. Loyal and honest to a fault. He never had, to my knowledge, or ever would, in my belief, harm another person on purpose. I loved him, and I was almost sure he loved me too.
But therein lay the problem. I always knew Finn idolized my brother in a way, and after learning that there wasn’t muchgoing on at home for him as a kid, it reenforced just how much his relationship with Miles meant to him. If he knew the depth of pain my brother and his future bride caused me, it would only hurt him worse.
Because if I were right and Finn loved me, he’d shred them to bits in my honor, and in doing so, damage himself much more. The worst was that he wouldn’t even realize it, with his less-than-great internal mirror.
So I smiled, bought rounds, drank beers, and whooped ass in Skee-ball. Not for Miles. Fuck him. For Finn. I’d walk into that church looking a million bucks, dance, fawn over my boyfriend’s best man speech, and have the best time I could with the people I loved. Despite the couple we were gathered to celebrate, not because.
After beating Connor’s ass for the third time, he said, “Fuck you, bro. What’re you, a Skee-ball ringer or some shit?”
I laughed. “First class in med school is how to trounce fools in Skee-ball.”
Jason put his arm around Connor. “Next time, don’t bet on carnival games, bro.”
“We weren’t betting?” I was confused, but still laughing.
“Nah, I bet him fifty bucks he’d get his ass whopped,” Tyler said. “So thanks for not sucking. Knew I could count on you, bro.”
“It’s not funny,” Connor said, trying not to laugh, but failing. “Take it, jackass.” He slapped a crisp new fifty into Tyler’s open palm.
“In that case, next round is on you. Only fair,” I said. Tyler agreed.
The round of four beers was fifty-one thirty-six. Poor guy lost out. After touching glasses, I turned to Jason and said, “I’m excited to meet your wife.” His face lit up, as I knew it would.That man’s love for his wife never failed to make me smile. “From the way you talk about her, she sounds awesome.”
“She is. She’s excited to meet you, too. I told her all about you... uh…”
